That night, besides being horny, my thoughts centered around how to get him to stop. I didn't want another embarrassing encounter like I had that morning. I didn't want to embarrass him either, or cause him to wonder what the heck I am doing in the field at first light in the morning. There had to be a way to be obvious. If I am subtle, he won't notice and it would be awkward. If I'm blatant, than it will still be awkward, but at least I have a chance of getting my goal... hmmm.

But what should that goal be? I really didn't want to fuck the guy. I mean, I wouldn't want to break his family. And I was programmed by society that I am not supposed to give myself to anyone who is not going to be in my life forever. Old-fashioned, right? I don't apologize for that. It may be old and traditional, but I believed it. In many ways, I still do. So... fucking the guy is out of the question. So then, what is it I'm after? What do I hope to achieve? I really must be going crazy.

Maybe I just want him to notice me. Maybe it's just attention from a handsome man? Is that all? I thought about it for a while and came to a conclusion. No, that isn't all. That's just the start. I could have his attention all day and night, but I need something more. I want his body and I want to give him mine. Maybe not all of it, but I will gladly give him what I can right now. Above all, I want to make him happy. I want to blow his fucking mind, I want him to be so damn content that he never, ever forgets me.

Just then I remembered a conversation I overheard when I was little. I was playing under the house and my auntie was inside talking with one of her friends. I could hear them plainly, they were gossiping about a woman whose husband left her. A comment my auntie made stuck with me forever, and I recalled it now. She said the jilted woman should have "learned how to swallow because a man won't leave a girl who swallows". I remember thinking about that... swallow what? I was so curious! The conversation laughingly proceeded to get bolder, unaware of my little ears taking it in. Soon, I got the idea... ugh, kadiri! I was aghast and repulsed that a woman would put her mouth there and worse, to actually swallow what comes out? No thanks! As a child I was disgusted. Now, the idea didn't seem all that bad...hmmm. Just then I suddenly remembered what I had done the previous night; I had tasted my own juice after I orgasmed.

So... I could actually have sex but not lose my cherry! I could satisfy the man and leave him with an irreplaceable memory, something he would never forget. But the big question remained, how do I get him to stop?

I couldn't sleep, so once again I rubbed one out. This time I thought about giving that man the blowj...

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Joined: March 16, 2018 (6 months old)
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