Second Time

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Blog: English · Categories: Non-Erotic · Tags: , , ,
Date: March 21, 2018 (11 months ago)

It was a year ago when I bravely gave myself to someone I only talked with for a short time.

Two weeks?

And in two months, we only meet for a few times. Then, I let him go. Felt like, we just fucked each other. Yeah, I know.

However, I don't want to regret any second that I'm with you. I treasured all the memories and the emotions I felt because I know how genuine it was because I loved you. I hope you really loved me too, at least.

But I can not stay with you if you're already committed to someone else.
That's why I let you go even if I know you'll take with you a big part of me or it was you who will leave a deep scar in my being.

I think it was the latter. I was devastated. I missed you, or its only my memories of us deceiving me?
I miss myself.

I thought I will not enter another kind of relationshit again -- a relationship without label. I thought what we had will be the last lesson and the last kind of pain from dumbness I would allow. I thought I will not let my body be used out of lust.

I promised I will never be stupid again. I promised not to be attached with words and shitty sugarcoated actions of a jerk but then again, I failed.

What's with the "commitment" that most people fear about? Hopeless.

I don't know what to feel anymore. Didn't imagine that I will reach this point of questioning my self-worth, my value. Yes it's all my fault because I let these all happen. But...

I don't know.
I'm lost.

Carry me wherever this flow will go.

About the Author :

Joined: January 8, 2016 (3 years old)
Writings: 19
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I don't think all writers are sad. I think it's the other way around --- all sad people write.
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Mahirap maghanap ng taong pangmatagalan sa sitwasyong pangmabilisan.

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User Not Found
March 23, 2018 (10 months ago)

2 days and still none of it ?

Why not ? They keep em comin' where it wasn't really that much to begin with or hell end with.

I like your piece. Naturally flowing like a piss-work and a relief thereafter.

Mwahhh !

"Virtual is like everything else. Assume nothing. Only then can you truly see what you're dealing with." - Quellcrist Falconer , Altered Carbon

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March 24, 2018 (10 months ago)

Aw. Thanks!

Mahirap maghanap ng taong pangmatagalan sa sitwasyong pangmabilisan.

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July 24, 2018 (6 months ago)

bakit nga ba ganun kung pwede naman tumagal?

carpe diem!

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