Just This Once

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Confession: Taglish · Categories: Reluctance · Tags:
Date: October 9, 2015 (3 years ago)

Once, twice, thrice, can't recall how many times I have attempted to pour out what I felt, and still feel everytime I remember how it started. And how it ended.

Alam mo yung pakiramdam na sa gitna ng napakaraming nagbabalyahang tao sa MRT, biglang lutang ka lang at gusto mong huminto, at hindi mo alam kung pano pakikitunguhan yung ganun klaseng lungkot?

Siguro kasi hindi ko gustong matapos kung ano man yung naging meron tayo. Kaso wala eh, tama ka, naging masyado akong madamot sayo. Hindi ko na kailangan pang isa-isahin ang mga ginawa mo to prove your words but sadly, I didn't have the guts to freely reciprocate it . Kaya lang kahit naman gusto ko, I'm tied up with heavy baggages and commitments at alam mo naman yun.

We both know what we were hoping to have was bound to fail. Kaya nga sabi ko sana kahit friendship na lang ang itira natin. Kaso, kahit yun, masyado nang mabigat dalhin para sayo.

And I know to push it would be utter selfishness.

Until now I have your lastmessages. I wanted to reread them over and again. Kasi ayokong kalimutan kung ano yung mga sinabi mo. Sabagay memoryado ko na. Pero para lagi ko din maalala kung ano yung mga bagay na nagawa ko at hindi ko nagawa para sayo.


I know that single word may not be enough to bring back what we lost. Or give us what we never had. But I hope that would sum up everything you wanted me to openly say back then, but failed to.


Because it took me this long to come up with as shallow as this one simply because I can't imagine what my friends would possibly think. Yes, coward, I am.

I don't know how I would feel if by any chance I would know you have finally found that someone who's free to tell everyone you are...

About the Author :

Joined: December 22, 2013 (4 years old)
Writings: 33
Send PM  ·  Female  ·  Offline
Bipolar by birth. Bitch by choice.
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