Another Question: "Why Can't Ex-Lovers Retain Their Friendship?"

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Blog: English · Categories: Non-Erotic · Tags:
Date: December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)


too many thoughts going in and out of my scarcely capable mind that i cant make a poem out of it.

So, the question is: Why cant o shouldnt ex-lovers retain their friendship?

I mean, does ending a relationship is tantamount to losing friendship? after all that youve been through, will everything be for nought just becaus...

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"The character's attitude is more important than plot." - Stephen J. Cannell

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wickd.witz
Status: Suspended

December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

my POV ...

being "lovers" and "friends" .. iba ang level ng commitment

how they (the persons involved in that certain predicament) handle the situation equates to the outcome of the so-called "relationship"

my 2 cents

THE FACT THAT THERE IS A HIGHWAY TO HELL BUT ONLY A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN, SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE ANTICIPATED TRAFFIC NUMBERS.

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darkcipher
December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

thanks for the input...

so you mean that they could work it out if they want to?

"The character's attitude is more important than plot." - Stephen J. Cannell

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wickd.witz
Status: Suspended

December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

to each his own .. mahirap mag period bro .. that's why we are "unique" .. we are human.. got to love the individuality

THE FACT THAT THERE IS A HIGHWAY TO HELL BUT ONLY A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN, SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE ANTICIPATED TRAFFIC NUMBERS.

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somebodyuused2know
December 14, 2015 (2 years ago)

Hmm...eh ba't tayo wick, we retained the friendship?

LOLS!

I'M A NICE PERSON. JUST DON'T PRESS THE BITCH BUTTON.

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wickd.witz
Status: Suspended

December 16, 2015 (2 years ago)

hmmmm .. ngayon ko lang nakita to FFL .. busy lang sa inom... but to answer (di ako matatahimik if you have the last laugh.. kala mo ha) ...

Napaka-simple ng sagot. Ayaw mo ng 1-incher ko.. ayaw ko din mamatay sa wanton-ish cougar mode mo... Nuff said. Di kita kaya.

THE FACT THAT THERE IS A HIGHWAY TO HELL BUT ONLY A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN, SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE ANTICIPATED TRAFFIC NUMBERS.

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somebodyuused2know
December 16, 2015 (2 years ago)

Syet hahahahaha dami ko tawa. Ako na ang wanton cougar!  I'll take it as the highest form of compliment. Hahaha. Wanggg you knew damn well hindi mo talaga ko kaya...hindi kayang landiin bwahahaha. Nyeta ka hahahaha laff trip here!

I'M A NICE PERSON. JUST DON'T PRESS THE BITCH BUTTON.

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wickd.witz
Status: Suspended

December 16, 2015 (2 years ago)

Ahhh kala mo compliment yun... It's not ! NOT! All caps, if you may. You may be sexy .. wanton .. all adjectives possible... NOT. NO!!! NOT.

Pa-hug na lang FFL.

THE FACT THAT THERE IS A HIGHWAY TO HELL BUT ONLY A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN, SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE ANTICIPATED TRAFFIC NUMBERS.

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somebodyuused2know
December 16, 2015 (2 years ago)

Hahaha, geh lang, almost 5 years after, ang bitter mo pa rin pagdating sa kin, hahaha. Uu, alam ko, hindi ako sexy. Far from being a wanton, lam mo yan...but the reality here is, you still think that I am sexy, if not hot. At wag mo na masyado pakatitigan ang prof pic ko dito, hindi ako yan. Bwahahahaha.

Hindi kaya tamaan ako ng kidlat dito? :-))

Hugs FFL. Just missed you.

I'M A NICE PERSON. JUST DON'T PRESS THE BITCH BUTTON.

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wickd.witz
Status: Suspended

December 16, 2015 (2 years ago)

aba .. nag effort talaga magreply ... after 5 years, never ako naging "bitter" ... I always think highly of you .. kung kumain ka na ba.. kung okay ka  lang .. kung naligo ka na .. kung hina-highblood ka pa and if so,  sino umaaruga sau ... kung naka-uwi ka ba ng maayos, na di nilalaspangan ang sexy mong balakang ng mga tambay sa kanto .. kung kada pasok mo sa work, nakatulog ka ng maayos.. or well-rested ka.. or kumain .. inaalala kita ... maalala mo naman sana naman ako kung matigok ka na.. padamay sa last will.

THE FACT THAT THERE IS A HIGHWAY TO HELL BUT ONLY A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN, SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE ANTICIPATED TRAFFIC NUMBERS.

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somebodyuused2know
December 16, 2015 (2 years ago)

Aww touched naman ako. :-D

Pero alam ko naman, napatunayan ko naman, in your own crazy way, concerned ka sa akin at labs mo ako. And you should know kahit inookray kita, pag may nangba-bad trip sayo, I always got your back. At tubuan na ng kabute sa likod ang makikialam sa mga trip mo na iilan lang sa amin ang nakakasakay. :-))

Yung balakang ko...lecheng balakang yan, puro na lang balakang hahaha. Seryoso, gusto ko na nga banggain ng balakang ko si crush eh, baka sakali tubuan ng pagnanasa sa akin at landiin ako hehehe.

Yaan mo ffl, sasama kita sa last will and testament ko. Ipapa-patent ko mga wento kong walang wenta at sayo ko ipapamana hehe.

I'M A NICE PERSON. JUST DON'T PRESS THE BITCH BUTTON.

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wickd.witz
Status: Suspended

December 16, 2015 (2 years ago)

dami mo sinabi ... LOVES MO AKO.. nuff said.

THE FACT THAT THERE IS A HIGHWAY TO HELL BUT ONLY A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN, SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE ANTICIPATED TRAFFIC NUMBERS.

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somebodyuused2know
December 16, 2015 (2 years ago)

LOLS!

Kamot sa ulo siguro si DC. Ginawa nating chatrum tong post niya :-))

I'M A NICE PERSON. JUST DON'T PRESS THE BITCH BUTTON.

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wickd.witz
Status: Suspended

December 16, 2015 (2 years ago)

anong kamot si darkcipher? .. eh di i-close comment nya blog nya.. problema... that way walang comment magaganap.

THE FACT THAT THERE IS A HIGHWAY TO HELL BUT ONLY A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN, SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE ANTICIPATED TRAFFIC NUMBERS.

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darkcipher
December 16, 2015 (2 years ago)

Nope. Walang prob if naging chat room o chat box.

Tuloy ang ligayaaaa!!! Hehe

"The character's attitude is more important than plot." - Stephen J. Cannell

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sushicat009
December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

depende yan kung paano kayo nag break up minsan kasi may bitterness at pride sa isat isa kung wala naman kwenta yung ex mo better kalimutan mo na siya for good. Kasi hindi ka mkka move on kung lagi mo siya nakikita the best niyan unfriend mo muna sa lahat ng connection then sunugin mo lahat ng nag papaalala anything about ex.

キミは幸せでしたか? とても幸せでした。

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darkcipher
December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

So pano if wala namang bitterness? Hehe

"The character's attitude is more important than plot." - Stephen J. Cannell

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sushicat009
December 14, 2015 (2 years ago)

Pwede rin kayong maging friends pero maraming consequences tulad ng baka ma develop ulit kayo parang A second chance or magkasala ka ulit. Problema niyan ay kung may bagong relationship na yung isa sa inyo baka magalit or mag selos yung current relationship ng isa nako madaming ganyan kaya mahirap talaga. Ang masasabi ko meron chance maging friends situational din pero maliit lang.

キミは幸せでしたか? とても幸せでした。

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Layla-L.
December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

Awareness is a wall that is hard to put aside
After being so familiar with each other's body and mind
To be suddenly break apart...
Leaves a wall that separates the string of connection
That once was attached to each other's heart.

To be friends is to reconnect.
It's a luxury, very few have ever done.
Time...
All you need is time
To melt away all remnants
Of that awareness that only lovers had.

Cogito, ergo, sum.

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Layla-L.
December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

*To suddenly break apart

Cogito, ergo, sum.

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darkcipher
December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

Cool.

Meaning, to reconnect is something like wickd.witz said, "unique?"

"The character's attitude is more important than plot." - Stephen J. Cannell

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Layla-L.
December 14, 2015 (2 years ago)

Not unique, but a decision that both party should collectively chose.

Cogito, ergo, sum.

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wickd.witz
Status: Suspended

December 16, 2015 (2 years ago)

ano daw?

THE FACT THAT THERE IS A HIGHWAY TO HELL BUT ONLY A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN, SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE ANTICIPATED TRAFFIC NUMBERS.

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shobe.sheen
December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

We have to take note of individual differences.

Every person is unique, so as every resulting relationship they forge with another person. I believe that ending a relationship is not tantamount to losing friendship. Maintaining such friendship is not impossible, just highly difficult. Because in doing so, both parties are compelled to keep a civil, light, and a whole new level of relationship amidst a mountain of stressors (i.e., rehashing both kilig moments and ugly fights).

Imperfect understanding is often more dangerous than ignorance.

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darkcipher
December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

Hmmmm... Yep. The adjustments will be difficult, i guess.

Will it boils down to "we're cool, but not tight anymore" huh?

"The character's attitude is more important than plot." - Stephen J. Cannell

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M
Mr.M
December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

Most former lovers would rather move on and close that last chapter.However,FATE has it's ways in twisting life's path of people.If by chance they ever do cross paths again and such events or activity causes them to become close  one way or another;i'm sure the two would have said their point of views and let it be their rules between each other.1 may even let the other be still "special" in their own secret way yet not let that person figure it out.Minsan nang nasaktan at napaso siguro naman e natuto na kung paano ba tratratuhin ang tao.Respect and nurture such a relationship and likely a FRIENDSHIP will still continue again.

ISO certified DOM and ATC(Ako'y Talagang Cute!)

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darkcipher
December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

Hmnm....  I may be nitpicking, but the last three sentences applies to me.

Oh, not the second to the last. Hehe.

"The character's attitude is more important than plot." - Stephen J. Cannell

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antoinette
December 14, 2015 (2 years ago)

post mo na. looks like a good story.

i wanna run to you... ohhhh

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darkcipher
December 14, 2015 (2 years ago)

Basta ang lundo lang ay kahit lam ko na na nakatakda na syang ikasal anytime soon, i still made my moves... At ikinasal na nga siya last month.

"The character's attitude is more important than plot." - Stephen J. Cannell

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M
Mr.M
December 14, 2015 (2 years ago)

Well Darkcipher if you practice what you preach it will happen.Never let the bad experiences overpower the good ones.Friendships are'nt broken their just unfinished so there's a chance it will be revived.Good luck to whoever is the EX who you want to be a friend always.

ISO certified DOM and ATC(Ako'y Talagang Cute!)

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darkcipher
December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

Maybe i shudda posted this and the almost whole story "confessions."

"The character's attitude is more important than plot." - Stephen J. Cannell

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voluptuous
December 13, 2015 (2 years ago)

That will be extremely hard, but not impossible. The problem is that you already cross the boundaries of romantically attached with each other (lovers) over your platonic relationship (friendship) it will be weird or awkward to talk to him/her in different manner. Thus, one factor that you'll gonna consider is the reason why you broke up, if it is a mutual decision it will be much easier to be on good terms but if one of you end the relationship with various reason, I guess being friend with your ex lover is not possible.

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MidLifeCrisis
December 14, 2015 (2 years ago)

Hindi mahirap maging friends with the ex IF yong cause ng breakup is not a third party. I am not saying naman na right after the breakup friends na uli. One needs to heal first bago maibalik yong friendship.

And.I.Care.Not.

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darkcipher
December 14, 2015 (2 years ago)

Third party. Kasi ikinasal na sya

"The character's attitude is more important than plot." - Stephen J. Cannell

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Jeck-69
December 14, 2015 (2 years ago)

No matter what, forget the past and concentrate sa present and the future.

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recoil03
December 14, 2015 (2 years ago)

FRIENDSHIP CAN BE RETAINED EVEN FOR EX'S...
I don't think it is impossible... It is very possible to be friends and sometimes even closer to an ex-GF, ex FF or even someone you had a one night stand in the past... I think the main question now is how much pride and prejudice you have for the person or the other way around. For me one of the only person who knows you very well is the person you have shared your wildest dirtiest and often craziest fantasy and experiences with, and im sure building that bridge would not be impossible as long as you learn to put differences aside and once again share those kind laughter and smiles.

Currently my best friend is an ex-gf turned friend turned ex-FF (she now has a family but no one knows her well inside and out than me)... Several former girlfriends are good friends and we even give out advice and comments on our life's pleasant and unpleasant milestones and keep in touch. As well as with former FF who are now good friends.

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darkcipher
December 14, 2015 (2 years ago)

Thnx. Ive picked up  good points.

"The character's attitude is more important than plot." - Stephen J. Cannell

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Bebeko
December 14, 2015 (2 years ago)

Dark, to answer your question.., kapag ang dahilan ng paghihiwalay ay trust issues. Mahirap na rin maging magkaibigan muli dahil may crack na. Friendship or in any lasting relationship involves trust. Pwede rin naman ang isa sa kanila ay ayaw na lang talaga for personal reasons. It's a matter of choice na yan.

Maaari rin naman siguro na dahil naging matabang na lang. Marami pang pwedeng reason. Ang mahalaga ay huwag ipagpilitan na maging friends. Hayaan na kusang dumating o bumalik sa ganoong estado. Sa simula ng paghihiwalay ay magkanya-kanya na muna dahil mas healthy yun sa tingin ko.

Good job!

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darkcipher
December 14, 2015 (2 years ago)

Hhhhmmm.... Wag ipagpilitan... Ill take note of that.

Heheh thnx!

"The character's attitude is more important than plot." - Stephen J. Cannell

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LordDrake
December 15, 2015 (2 years ago)

My opinion is it really depends on how the lovers broke up. An amicable break up can still lead to friendship. But if the reason for the break up can also destroy even a platonic relationship (for example, breaking one's trust), then there really is no way for ex-lovers to be friends after the break up.

That's what happened with my last girlfriend. We tried to be friends, I even tried courting her to win her back. But she did something that really ruined our friendship. Something that if it had been done to me by someone who I was only platonic with would still ruin the relationship. So that's how my ex and I stopped being friends.

The great thing about fiction is that anything can happen. The author is practically a god of the world he or she writes about.

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mjjhay
December 15, 2015 (2 years ago)

awkward na kasi kung anong gagawin. apir ba o beso ;)

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Uzimi1212
December 16, 2015 (2 years ago)

For me, its not complicated at all. You became friends at first got developed coz of something you thought is there until proven wrong. Something in the relationship happened that's why it ended then you want to be friends? If it is not a hypocritical bullshit then its crazy. Its like you are a kidnap victim and asked to keep in touch with the perps after you got released.

More simple explanation: if two former lovers remain friends after they broke up, its either they're still in love with each other or they never were

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Fiction-Factory
December 17, 2015 (2 years ago)

Malinaw yung tanong. Para sa akin, imposible ng maging friends pa yung exlovers, malamang okay pa yung samahan nila after magbreak, pero siguradong hindi na nila TINUTURING kaibigan ang isat isa.

To be honest, i'm a liar. ♥♞♬♂⚄☜†∇

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saismedya
December 17, 2015 (2 years ago)

come on... there is a string tied them up before,,,,, and they tied again being for friendship sake

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