(Belated fathers day letter confession for my husband)

I never get tired of asking myself the same question over and over.
"Why do I love my husband?"

I looked down upon myself but he looked up to me and called me beautiful even on my rough edges.
Is it because he called my weaknesses and flaws sexy?

Is it because he is the only man who can take on my own madness and dance at my own beat? Ah, the many crazy things I did to him but it seems he always find ways to smile back and have fun with me.

No wonder he has a lot of friends.
He never gave up on them.
He never gave up on me- giving up on him. Nililigawan niya ako ng paulit ulit noon but I always turn him down.
I was afraid of my own shadow at that time.
What has been done in my past haunts me till this very day. Nararamdaman ko pa ang mga markang inilagay nila sa katawan ko.
Is it because of his unrelenting charm and warm charisma?

The way they make my face moan,
The way they held my hand,
The way they touched my chest,
The way they kissed my lips,
The way they undressed me, fondled and fvcked me...
I always remember how they did it..no matter what I do.
I never forget. I have never forgiven myself kung bakit ako nasasarapan..

...on my skin, my breasts, my pussy, my ass and even on my mouth.
I can still feel their touch..
I can still remember how they force their dick in my throat...
I can still taste their cum whenever i eat anything. Nakakasuka.
I loose my appetite.
Pakiramdam ko naglalasang tamod ang lahat ng kinakain ko....
....and the worst part of this is that I loved what they did to me.
I loved them doing their way with me.
I can't remember why I keep looking back whenever I touch myself.
Am I going insane?
Laughing about it while crying deep inside.
Nasasarapan pa rin ako whenever I remember.
I doesnt matter anymore. I know that I just wanted the pleasure as a temporary remedy.
A part of me died along. Kasama na ng respeto ko sa sarili whenever I fall for someone.
Nothing really matters anymore.
Sunuko ko ang lahat ng pagkatao ko for them but they gave up on me in the end.
I was not enough.
My body and soul was not enough.

Hindi ko pa rin maintindihan.
Para sa kanila, nagagawa kong lumuhod at lunukin ang lahat ng mga pinapasok nila sa bibig ko.
Para sa kanila, nagawa kong kalimutan ang respeto ko sa aking sarili. Hinayaan kong babuyin nila ako at maging isang kasangkapang parausan.

I know I was loosing my sanity just by loving every moment they are doing me, being drunk with lust.

Whenever I look in the mirror or close my eyes, I can feel the nightmares taking shapes and embracing me, kissing my face and choking my neck.
Sometimes I even wished for someone to strangle me. I was being masochistic.
I was so desperate to die and end my suffering while making love.
I can only despare in bed after.

In my deepest darkest moment of regrets, suddenly a hero came to save me from my real enemy.(myself)
He was unlike the guys I met before.
Never siyang nagmadaling ikama ako.

He made me remember. (Who I am)
He made me laugh. (Just as I was to cry)
He made me forget.(by forgiving myself)
He made me smile.(even if there was no reason)
He filled my life with warm happy memories and made my cold winter past into meaningful spring.

About the Author :

Joined: December 16, 2019 (1 year old)
Writings: 64
Female  ·  Offline
Sex enthusiast.
Cos-sex artisan.
Unregistered sex therapist
Registered filipina nurse. HIV councilor. CO vid nurse (free consultation pero isa-isa lang po) ;)
Certified majorette and baton twirler
Need I say more? :)
Signature Text:
Experience is the greatest kamasutra teacher
13  ·  10  ·  9  ·  2,218

July 10, 2020 (11 months ago)

So sweet. Parang napadpad imagination ko sa isang love story na napakahirap paniwalaan ngunit di maikakailang tunay. Sa totoo napakabihira ng mga ganyang klase ng lalaki especially once na malamang ganun ang past life ng isang babae, commonly mawawalan ng respect sa babae, but he didn't. I'm happy for both of you po ate. 😁

I rise where others fall. Whenever the world is turned against me, I survive in exchange for my humanity.

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July 10, 2020 (11 months ago)

love wins! keep him, by all means, as in by all means possible.

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July 11, 2020 (11 months ago)

Masarap magmahal kapag tanggap ka kung ano kapa! Lahat naman tayo may mga pagkukulang pero ang pinaka masarap sa lahat at may taong nagpupuno ng pagkukulang natin.

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July 11, 2020 (11 months ago)

Malaking yakap. Para sa inyong dalawa... Inspiring!

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July 11, 2020 (11 months ago)

Aww. Happy for you, sis! Sana all, diba? Hihi!

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July 11, 2020 (11 months ago)

ngayon lang ako naka basa ng story dito na hindi ako tinigasan..kasi nung nabasa ko to, lumambot ng husto ang puso ko.. haaays..nakakamiss magmahal ng totoo.. first ever comment ko to simula nung naging reader ako dito.. sa story mo lang ako napa comment.. tagos sa puso at hindi sa puson.. hanggad ko po ang kaligayahan ninyong dalawa.. keep your husband.. one in a million sya..

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July 11, 2020 (11 months ago)

Thank you po sa inyong lahat. I finally found the words to pour out my heart to him. Dati hindi ko alam kung pano sabihin :)

Experience is the greatest kamasutra teacher

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July 11, 2020 (11 months ago)

Sabi nga "When you LOVE its not just the GOOD the BAD parts too.No matter what you were before it does'nt matter what matters most is that he/she accepts it with full understanding that all in the PAST.

Minsan na namatay pero muli nabuhay

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July 11, 2020 (11 months ago)

Mejo masakit ah Madam ah pero sana mabasa nya tong confession mo dito.

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July 12, 2020 (11 months ago)

Uo. Sinulat ko sa asawa ko yung ibang parts nito as love letter nung fathers day.

Experience is the greatest kamasutra teacher

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