E.13: Mistress

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Confession: True Story, Taglish · Categories: Romance · Tags:
Date: July 9, 2019 (2 months ago)


"I'm not a mistress. I never was and I never will be one."
-Anne Curtis as Kara, from the movie 'No Other Woman' (2011)

Ganyang-ganyan din ang paniniwala ko noon. Hindi. Ako. Kabit.

Hindi naman kami nagsasama, hindi nya ako ibinabahay, sinusustentuhan or anything. Oo, nagkikita kami, may nangyayari samin, pero iba naman yung kabit. FuBu siguro pwede pa, pero hindi ako kabit, kerida, kulasisi. None of the above. Saka they are separated naman na, nagsasama na lang para sa mga anak, so weno naman if he has a girlfriend na. Isa pa, ni hindi ko nga sigurado kung may feelings ako for W, parang wala naman. Okay, I care for him, pero mahal?… No.

Ra-tio-nal-i-za-tion (Noun) The action of attempting to explain or justify behavior or an attitude with logical reasons, even if these are not appropriate. In short, making excuses. In Tagalog, pagdadahilan. Ang dami kong dahilan na naiisip, pampagaan marahil ng kunsensya.

I was living a double-life. At home and in school, I'm the conservative, responsible, smart, NBSB, bahay-eskwela type of girl. Yun ang alam nila lahat. But online and when I'm with W or kung sino mang minimeet ko, I'm the exact opposite. I was reckless, daring, impulsive and stupid. Alam ko na ngang mali, ginagawa ko pa din.

Para akong sinampal ng mga text messages na natanggap ko mula sa asawa nya. Dun ko narealize na hindi totoong hiwalay na sila. Nagsinungaling na naman sya sakin.

"Lubayan mo ang asawa ko, malandi ka!"

"Ang kapal ng mukha nyo, akala nyo walang makakakita sa inyo ha. Pwes maliit ang mundo sa mga higad na kagaya mo."

"Hindi ikaw ang una nyang babae. Madami ng nagdaan at isa ka lang sa kanila kaya siguradong iiwan ka rin nya."

"Nakita mo sana kung paano sya lumuhod at nagmakaawa sa akin na patawarin ko sya. At alam mo kung ano sabi nya tungkol sayo? Na balewala ka lang sa kanya, pampalipas oras ka lang."

"Naturingan ka pang nag-aaral sa **, eh ang tanga-tanga mo! Ubos na ba ang lalake sa mundo para pumatol ka sa pamilyado ha?"

"Kung inaakala mo na iiwan nya ang pamilya nya para sayo, nahihibang ka. Hindi magtatagumpay ang mga home wrecker na kagaya mo! Karmahin ka sana!"

Masakit syempre, sobra. Naaalala ko lang ngayon habang nagta-type ako, nanginginig ang dibdib ko. Durog na durog ako sa mga pang-iinsulto na sinabi nya, sobrang unfair. Hindi ko naman naging intensyon ever na manira ng pamilya. Lagi ko ngang kinakamusta ang mga anak nila, minsan nagpapadala ako ng pasalubong sa mga bata. Hindi ako nag-te-text o tumatawag ng alanganin kasi ayoko malagay sya sa kompromiso, ayoko ng gulo. Gusto ko matiwasay ang lahat sa family nila, ineencourage ko pa nga si W na ayusin ang relationship nilang mag-asawa, walang kaso sakin yon. Kasi sa totoo lang, kuntento na ako sa kaunting oras at atensyon na maibibigay nya sa akin. Willing ako makihati.

But none of that matters, ang mali ay mali. Karapatan din naman nya magalit dahil sya ang asawa. Kung ako man siguro ang nasa kalagayan nya, baka ganon din ang maging reaksyon ko.

I did not bother to reply, what's the point na mangatwiran, alam ko namang ako ang mali. Lagi ng nakasilent ang phone ko kasi may mga unknown number na tumatawag. Syempre hindi ko sinasagot, masakit na yung mga nabasa ko, ayoko ng marinig pa.

Nakatanggap ako ng text galing kay W, tatawagan daw nya ko, unregistered ang number, phone daw kasi ng kumpare nya ang gamit nya. Lumabas ako ng class para masagot ko ang tawag nya. Ang dami kong tanong, gusto ko sya murahin!

Nagmamadali sya. Gusto daw nyang mag-usap kami ng personal but he can't come to Manila muna and requested me to go there instead. Hindi ko nasabi ang mga gusto kong sabihin, natanong ang mga gustong itanong, at para magkalinawan na lang, I agreed. Magpapaalam na lang ako na magriresearch, gagawa ng group project or something. Tinuro nya sa akin paano pumunta doon, kung saan ang sakayan ng provincial bus.

Nagawan ko ng paraan, it was a Saturday I think when I came to see him. Takot na takot ako kasi that was the first time na bumyahe ako ng out of town on my own, ni sa Manila nga hindi ako gala.

Wala pa sya masyadong naikwento sa akin, ang alam ko lang eh sa bahay ng kumpare sya kasalukuyang nakikituloy, dun na lang din daw kami mag-usap.

Bukod sa pag-uusap ay may isa pa nga pala akong pakay sa pagpunta doon. A few weeks ago, may napulot akong phone sa mall, forgot the model pero higher end than mine, kaso deadbatt and di din nagchacharge. Wala naman akong means para mahanap pa ang owner non so I decided to keep it na lang. Then nung last na nag-date kami, pinakita ko sa kanya and he told me na baka kaya ng mga technicians nya gawin so pinadala ko sa kanya. I was hoping I could get it back, sayang din eh.

Di ko na maalala kung terminal ba ang binabaan ko or along the way, basta andon...

About the Author :

Joined: January 12, 2019 (8 months old)
Writings: 36
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“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --- Maya Angelou

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Comments
K
kweryow
July 9, 2019 (2 months ago)

The truth hurts nga daw, lalo na kung sinabi sayo na parausan ka lang nya. Bkt kaya may mga ganitong babae? Kung di mo sya mahal bkt kht mali handa mong gawin? Just asking no offense. Keep it up maam mejo late update mo hehe

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missE
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Ewan. He made me experience my first orgasm? Or because he was my first kaya I was so attached? Or gag* lang kasi talaga ako non

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E
Einard
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Question is bakit may mga ganung lalaki na naninira ng puri ng iba. Siraulo nun. Dapat sa mga ganun sina-salvage. There should be a law to criminalize those acts by married men. Problem is mga congressmen at lawyers lahat halos may kabit at tawag nila run ay girlfriend. Puta pati gf term binalahura nila to sugarcoat

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E
Einard
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Tangina silang mag-asawa, bagay sila. Bakit ikaw inaway nung babae eh ikaw na nga niloko ng boy pakboy nyang asawa na maliit ang titi. Dapat pinutol na nya titi nun para di na nakapambiktima ng mga inosente. PUTA dapat sa mga lalaking ganun pinapatay! Di ko na binasa confession mo nakakainit ng ulo, bwisit mga ganyang lalaki

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missE
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Actually di nya ko niloko. I knew na meron syang asawa bago pa man may nangyari nung una pa lang, kaya kasalanan ko rin talaga. T*nga eh.

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E
Einard
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Sorry pero niloko ka nun, inamin lang na may asawa na nung nakuha na nya loob mo. The mere fact na sinabi lang nung magkikita kayo tinitest lang kung libog na libog ka nung time na un. At nung pumayag ka kahit sinabing ma asawa na alam nya na pwede na nya gawin kahit ano sayo dahil hulog na loob mo sa kanya. Taga UP ka, you should know better

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E
Einard
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Just the fact na nanlalandi pa siya ng ibang babae panloloko na un hindi lang sayo at sa iba pang biktima kundi sa asawa at anak din nya.

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E
Einard
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Kaya nabibingwit ang isda kasi may pain, akala nila ok kasi pagkain. Pero sa ilalim nandun ung hook para mahuli sila. Ikaw ung isda at si pakboy ung hook na nagpanggap na pagkain. Gets? Niloko ka umpisa pa lang. Kasi kung sinabi agad na may asawa FOR SURE di mo un papatulan. Ang lapse mo lang, at his age of 32 dapat nagduda ka na agad na hindi na un binata kasi 32 na eh. Anyway sabi nga nila ung matatalino raw ay tanga sa pag-ibig. Guilty rin ako dyan

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E
Einard
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Malibog ka n kung malibog, malandi na kung malandi, pero entitled pa rin ang gaya mo sa single na lalaki, ung pwede ka pakasalan pagkatapos ka biyakin hindi ung tulad nung gag* na un na alam n hindi ka pwede panagutan pero ginalaw ka pa rin. Yang mga ganyan ang dapat sina-salvage, ung mga adik sa puke, mga adik sa virgin.

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I
Iggy80
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

"Higad" isang uri ng uod na mabalahibo at makati, na kalaunay nagiging paruparo o mariposa... siguro yan kana ngayon Mam... Mariposa

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Enoch
Status: Suspended

July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

May nakita akong meme na ganyan. Nakakatuwa nga eh. Sabi nung meme :
"HIGAD ; Minsan uod, minsan ikaw. "

Isang variation naman is :
"HIGAD:  Minsan hayop, madalas ikaw."

Funny. Hahaha !

"If you are insane you are unpredictable and if you are unpredictable you are never boring."

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missE
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

LOL thank you sir for providing comic relief

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missE
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Ganda naman nito sir, salamat😭

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missE
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Thanks guys, salamat sa pakikinig. Masakit alalahanin ulit but writing this confession series has been therapeutic for me.

Huuugsss😭🤗🤗🤗

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J
Jackjones
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

MissE go with the flow lang. Wala silang karapatan husgahan ka..dhil buhay mo yn.. for me lng ha.. buhay mo yn. Kya ikaw lng my karapatan  kung anong landas ang tatahakin mo.. d lhat ng binata ngaun kayang humarap ng resposibilidad... basta ako proud ako sa mga kagaya mo n mas gustuhin pa ung my mga sabit ang pag bibigyan ng puri nyong mga NBSB.. aabangan ko ung kasunod nito.. d nmn mahalaga ung malaki or maliit importante ma climax ka kht sa anong paraan the way you  sex in person or in phone

What you see is what u get

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E
Einard
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Sira rin pala pananaw mo eh. Kung may anak ka pala na babae mas gugustuhin mo pa pumatol sa may asawa. Sa binata kahit di kaya panagutan at least may chance, eh sa may asawa mananatili kang kabit hanggat buhay ang asawa nun. Pag nagkaanak ka na babae ireto mo sa akin pag may asawa na ako at ako bibiyak sa anak mo tutal yan ok sayo

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E
Einard
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

I don't usually do this pero umaapaw ang katangahan at kabobohan mo. PROUD ka na may asawa bibiyak sa babae? Na ginalaw nya kahit di nya pwede pakasalan? Siraulo ka rin pala eh

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Enoch
Status: Suspended

July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Be proud of your scars. They are there to remind us how human we all are. We are gullible, fallible, and imperfect. We all make mistakes.

Those mistakes, no matter how big or insignificant they are, equip us with experience as we tread onward and forward in this thing called Life.

You are a better person now, I am sure you are, because of past mistakes.

Good read as expected. Waiting for your next post.  Next !

"If you are insane you are unpredictable and if you are unpredictable you are never boring."

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Greg_Chan
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Best confession series ever.

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Z
zxcvbnmz
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Wow. When i read this, parang bumalik lahat ng nangyari sakin. This happened to me too when I was 19. Yung sakin pinaniwala nya ko na single sya and only 5 years older than me when in fact he was 25 years older, married with kids. We started as friends thru an online website and then we started chatting every.single.day. haha until one night may nagtext din sa akin na malandi daw ako. His wife started messaging me and threatening me and calling me words. That time friends lang talaga kami, Nothing happened between us. No exchanging of photos, just very little flirty text messages. He told me he has no fb but due to my excellent stalking skills, i was able to find his children's fb account and then confronted him about it. Umamin naman sya and told me the truth. AND BEGGED ME to stay. Kasi sabi nya wala naman daw kaming ginagawang masama. Naglalaro lng naman daw kami. Nag uusap. Nothing more. BUT SINCE TANGA AKO, I stayed. And our relationship well, grew into something more ---

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Z
zxcvbnmz
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

--- into something A LOT more. We talk everyday. Walang araw na di kami naguusap. We haven't met each other since we are far from each other and I'm still in college and there's no way that I would go to his city just to meet him so our relationship is only virtual. Yes IS because it is still happening because i'm a fucking tanga and malandi and shit na person and I still find it hard to leave him. He told me things which made me stay despite everything that HAPPENED. HE BROUGHT HELL TO ME. And by HELL, I mean his wife. I know that she has the right to be mad and to call things after she found out about us AGAIN. She found a "photo" without a face of course and decided to send it to all my fb friends and relatives and parents and even my professors and told them that I AM A KABIT. Na nakikipagsex daw ako sa thru the internet. And a lot more. She made a fb account with my face and started posting things. IT WAS HELL. I tried to cut myself because of what was happening. I was depressed--

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Z
zxcvbnmz
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

--and I didn't know what to do anymore. He said sorry and TRIED to stop his fucking wife to do whatever she was doing. I was so mad. I WAS GOING TO LEAVE HIM. We stopped talking for a number of days. Di ko na nirereplyan wife nya. But still every time may nattanggap akong text from her, gusto ko umiyak. I know she has the right to react negatively, to be mad, but to ruin my life. SHE HAD NO FUCKING RIGHT TO RUIN MY LIFE. Dinamay nya pa parents ko. She's a fucking witch. Kaya siguro ayaw ng asawa nya sa kanya. I WAS A WRECK. Yung "photo" pala was close up and it didn't look mine. Kaya di naniwala family and friends ko. But still, I was depressed. Wala akong masabihan na we really had a thing because I don't want to be judged by my friends. So, guess what? HE WAS THE ONLY PERSON that was helping me. He was the only one who can make his wife stop so sa kanya ako humihingi ng tulong that time. AND HE HELPED ME. And he has thing special talent na he can make you calm na as if okay lang --

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Z
zxcvbnmz
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

--lahat. Na balik na sa normal ganun. Until it slowly went back to normal. YES, I tried to leave him. I really did but he won't stop begging  me to not leave him and texting me.  Na kahit friends lang daw kami ulit. Na he loves me ugh kainis. And I love him. TANGA DI BA? Di pa nga kami nagkikita. How can you fall in love with someone na di mo pa nakasama? Tanga lang diba. Anyways, he asked for forgiveness and I don't know if I fully forgive him but I stayed. I will never forgive his wife though. She could have talked to me personally. Di pa naman kami nagkita. I'm a fucking virgin. Di pa ko nagka bf and yet kabit na ko.  Swerte nya naman haha parang ang daling isipin na kaya ko syang iwan but it's so damn hard. Bakit ba ganun? Sometimes iniisip ko sana mainlove ako sa iba para kaya ko na syang iwan but i can't and ayaw ko sa iba. We've been talking every day for more than three years now. And mas lalo na akong nahihirapan na iwan sya. BUT I BELIEVE NA I WILL BE ABLE TO DO IT SOMEDAY.

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zxcvbnmz
July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

sorry super long. ngayon ko lng kasi nasulat yung nararamdaman ko about it. nobody will read this anyway.

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P
PioloAzkal
July 14, 2019 (2 months ago)

Ok lang yan...just like Miss E, sharing your sexual  curiosities and explorations is a good way to let go of some steam in your chest or lessen some guilt also.

Pampaluwag ng dibdib ika nga.

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DadiNoli
August 19, 2019 (1 month ago)

well, i've read it & some of us did.

how i wish i have something to say to make you realize you are hurting yourself more each day you are talking, texting, communicating with him.

i only hope you will get out of your emotional quagmire the soonest you before hell freezes over.

take care of your heart. it's the repository of love. once it's broken & torn, it takes love to mold it back.

carpe diem! make that moment count!

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Enoch
Status: Suspended

July 10, 2019 (2 months ago)

Sayo zxcvbnmz ,

Binasa ko. Ramdam kita. Maganda ilipat buong comment thread mo sa Confession section instead na sa comment section dito. Madaming magkokomento at magpapayo dun pag nailathala mo ang buong storya mo sa Confession section..

Nagmamahal,
Ang iyong Tita Charo.

"If you are insane you are unpredictable and if you are unpredictable you are never boring."

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P
PioloAzkal
July 14, 2019 (2 months ago)

I've been following the Confessions of Miss E lately and here is a confession within a confession.

Medyo relate din kasi ako sa Confessions ni Miss E and you ms zxcvbnmz, but up to the curiosity level lang. I had some encounters also with NBSB ladies but up to landian level lang and didn't reach the level of breaking their hymens. The NBSB ladies kasi ang nasa curiosity stage of their sexual exploration making them vulnerable sa mga sexual opportunists.

Having no boyfriends and still virgins, they have the tendency to be curious and be convinced by the sweet and caring talkings of guys...even married guys.

My little advice to the NBSB ladies, it's your prerogative to explore your sexual curiosities, but do it the safer way either by yourself nalang or wait for a right responsible guy na walang sabit and genuine friendship and love ang priorities for you and not parausan ka lang ng libog nila. Hwag niyo na sanang maranasang matawag na kabit and experience humiliation.

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DadiNoli
August 19, 2019 (1 month ago)

Concupiscence. That's what we innately have. It's all too natural in us. No one can escape it. But it can be controlled & subdued (in time though).

It is our inclination to do a wrongful act, to sin. To hurt others more than it hurt us. Until those hurt we have thrown out will boomerang with such intensity that it may floored us completely.

As you have said it, we rationalized. We make excuses. We blame someone else for every wrong we have done. Most especially when we are hurt by someone.

At this stage of your life, such boomerang hasn't hit you yet, & I quivered at the thought of what's next.

I wonder what happened to that 1st encounter of my 1st wife & my officemate GF when our 'secret' relationship was discovered?

Why do men keep a 'secret' relationship when they are all too married na?

Let me think about it & will get back at this confession.

Captcha 'mantel'

carpe diem! make that moment count!

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