Your 8 Biggest Sex Questions — Answered!

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Blog: English · Categories: Non-Erotic · Tags:
Date: August 1, 2014 (8 years ago)

I just want to share this article from Yahoo.

Once people find out what sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman does for a living, they love to get her opinion on everything from low libido and bedroom fantasies to how to spice things up. And she's always more than happy to oblige -- even if you catch her while she's shopping for shoes.

"Not only does it keep life interesting, but it also fits my mission: reminding people that honest, authentic, and straightforward communication about sex is vital for healthy relationships," she says.

Here's how she answers some of the common sex questions people ask.

1. Is my sex life normal?

Most people (especially women) believe what they want in the bedroom is somehow weird -- probably because so many of us learned as kids that sex is dirty and that our physical needs shouldn't be discussed. But as adults, we crave assurance that we're okay.

The answer is "yes, of course, you're normal!" As long as you're safe and not harming anyone, there's no reason to be concerned, embarrassed, or ashamed about your desires, or your genitals. Better yet, loosening your inhibitions a little is the first step to getting the sex life of your dreams.

2. How often do most people get it on?

Everyone thinks there's someone else having way more sex than you are. Relax. Research has shown that most long-married American couples have sex once or twice a week, provided illness, pregnancy, travel, financial stress, or any other major issue doesn't get in the way. For new couples, it happens much more often, but the frequency will gradually decrease over time.

3. How do I tell my partner what I need in bed?

He isn't a mind reader, so you have to speak up and be clear about what you want. Framing your request as a compliment really works. Want him to pleasure you more? Tell him how turned on you were during your last lovemaking because he really took his time. Before you know, he'll be offering more foreplay than you can handle!

Gentle instructions can make a difference too. Don't be afraid to say things like: "Can we slow down a minute," "can you do that thing with your tongue again," or "this feels good; you know what would make it feel even better (then change positions)."

Sometimes you don't have to speak at all -- just guide him by gently lifting your hips or moving your body in a way that works for you. Moaning or cooing also lets him know he's doing something you enjoy. Remember that your partner's goal is to make you happy, so any direction (our bodies are often a mystery to them) or guideposts along the way are always appreciated.

4. I'm not getting turned on! Why?

Lack of libido is a common problem as women get older and experience the hormonal changes of menopause, but it can happen at any age. Fluctuating hormone levels can contribute (perimenopause can begin as early as age 35), but so can stress at home or at work. Medications (some antidepressants and birth control pills have been linked to lowered sex drive), poor physical fitness, and lack of sleep can also be factors.

If you've lost interest in sex, first check to make sure it's not physical. Are you getting enough sleep, exercising, or eating healthy? Once you rule those out, visit your doctor. They'll be able to detect changing hormone levels or determine if it's a side effect of a new medication.

You can also try managing your stress triggers. If your daily to-do list is overwhelming, don't be a hero; get help. Buy, don't bake, cookies for the school sale. Tell your boss that you need more assistance on a project. If money woes have you on edge, schedule a family budget talk or a session with a financial adviser. Also, don't hesitate to confide in a therapist or your clergyperson if it becomes too much to handle alone. And finally, take time out for a hot bath, spa day, hanging with friends, or date night with your husband.

5. One of us cheated. How do we get past it?

It is possible to repair your relationship after an affair. First, the partner who cheated must cut off all communication with the ex-lover, and make it clear that he or she is recommitting to the marriage. And the unfaithful spouse shoul...

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August 1, 2014 (8 years ago)


Minsan na namatay pero muli nabuhay

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August 1, 2014 (8 years ago)

The Q & A is based on American experience which somehow is applicable to us. I hope meron for Filipinos.

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Legend's Profile Picture
August 1, 2014 (8 years ago)

Oh Ha.. yun nman pala.. Nice Share.. Thanx!..

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August 1, 2014 (8 years ago)


It’s okay if you don’t like me. I was not born to impress you.

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Bebeko's Profile Picture
August 1, 2014 (8 years ago)


"You learn nothing from life if you think you're right all the time." - Prof. Richard Feynman

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Status: Suspended

August 2, 2014 (8 years ago)

aha. hmmm

Tao lang ako, wanna try? A man with integrity, walks securely.

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