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I Don't Know What Is This Called But It Certainly Is Not A Confession

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Blog: Taglish · Categories: Erotic · Tags: , ,
Date: September 8, 2022 (29 days ago)


Alright. So the title says it all naman na, THIS IS NOT A CONFESSION. So sana wag ako ibash sa comments or pm or whatever. This content is more of seeking advice. I believe kasi na sometimes, you'll find the best advice sa taong hindi ka gaano kilala ee, tama ba or ako lang nagsasabi nun? Yung thinking ko kasi is pag kilala ka ng mag advice sayo, alam nya yung mga bagay na gusto mo marinig so ayun yung sasabihin nya, ykwim?

Anyways.. So eto na nga.. Before anything else, kwento ko muna yung pinagmulan. Para alam nyo san ako humuhugot. Haha.

So ayun.. I was living a perfect life prior to when pandemic happens. I dont care kung sabihin nyong nothing is perfect, but for me it is. When you're happy kasi and everything seems to be in their proper places at the right time, parang ang perfect na. Napaka simple lang kasi ng kaligayahan ko. Basta stress fee ako at ang mga taong mahal ko, masaya na ako don. So ayun nga, my life seems to be perfect before the pandemic. I am doing well with my studies, can get what i want, i've friends na genuine yung love for me, meju famous sa lugar namin na ewan ko kung bakit dahil di naman ako madalas lumabas, sa school almost everyone nagha-hi pag nakakasalubong ako, parang everybody wants to befriend with me and idk why? i have all people's attention na minsan nakaka-overwhelm na, alam nyo yun? and i have a boyfriend na feeling ko ako yung pinakamagandang babae sa balat ng lupa kasi boyfriend ko sya. XD

BF's BACKGROUND:

11yrs older than me

Business owner sa lugar namin

Famous kasi fuckboi

Gwapo

I was 17 nun naligaw si X, first bf ko sya yes. Ayaw sa kanya ng lahat ng tao sa paligid ko. Lalo ng kuya ko, kasi kilala nya daw yun.. "Wag yun" sabi sakin. Haha. Kasi nga kilala syang fuckboi. Almost every month yata nagpapalit ng jowa. I know him ofc, gwapo kaya. Pero alam kong ang labo maging kami kasi una, iba na yung trip nya sa trip ko, age gap ba naman namin.. And napaka imposible kasi gwapo talaga, tapos settled na, may business na sya at a young age ee.. Sino ba naman ako dba? Iniisip ko syempre mga trip nyang babae yung papakasalan na nya, so ayun nga nanligaw.. Kahit gusto kong sundin yung mga payo ng tao sa paligid ko, sinasabi nila "masasaktan ka lang jan." Hindi ko pa rin kinaya. Sinagot ko pa rin. Haha.

Infairness ma effort manligaw, tsaka pinahirapan ko talaga.. And nakipag usap sya sa parents ko, naging madalas sila magbond ng kuya ko. Talagang nanligaw ng totoo. Haba ng hair ko sa part na yun. So naging kami, dumami nagalit saakin. and wala akong pakialam sa kanila. Taas ng noo ko kaya! ako lang niligawan nya ng ganun. Char! Pero oo sabi nya naman lahat ng ginawa nyang panliligaw sakin first time nyang ginawa. Gwapo kasi talaga nya promiseseses, sya ang hinahabol ng mga babae. (Toinks!) Sinagot ko sya 2mo after debut ko. Oh wag kayong ano di kami nagsex agad. 2nd anniv namin yung first namin sex. And i was on cloud nine.

Guysss, ako lang jowa nya na tumagal ng taon. Sabi nga nila sa kanya "nakahanap ka katapat mo noh?". Ganda ko sa part na yun ulit. HAHAHA. So i was 20 nun nadevirginized ako. And our relationship became stronger and happier too. Until the pandemic talaga.

We are on our 4yrs and 3mos when pandemic happens. Hindi kami nakakapag kita, kasi Dad was so paranoid abt covid and ayaw talaga magpapasok ng ibang tao sa bahay. So no sex, not even phone sex coz idk, not my thing. Nakakatamad kasi mag play ng sarili, i prefer someone will do it for me. Arot! Haha. Tsaka hindi ko kaya i-satisfy yung sarili ko the way he does. So ayun na nga, he asked me to move in with him, kasi he wants to see me and have me daw everyday. I was only 20 my gahd. So syempre i turned him down. He promised to marry me after the pandemic naman pero sana magsama na daw kami.. Kaso ayoko talaga. Madami pa akong pangarap for myself, and andami ko pa gustong gawin sa buhay ko ng ako lang muna. Ykwim? Mahal na mahal ko sya oo, pero for me kasi hindi yun sapat ee, i still want to enjoy my life na ako pa rin yung nagmamay-ari sa sarili ko.. I had thoughts na, pano kung mabuntis ako? Nakakatakot, kasi hindi pa ako handa para dun. So ayun na nga.. Nagkalabuan kami kasi he cant even go sa bahay, and pag wala si Dad at Mama, nakakalusot naman ng dalaw pero di talaga nakakasex. Hindi ako pinapayagan lumabas ng bahay, kasi malala talaga yung takot ni...

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Joined: July 26, 2022 (2 months old)
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Eytch❣️
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Comments
cutemark's Profile Picture
cutemark
September 8, 2022 (29 days ago)

mawawala yan kapag may ka sex ka na ng iba at mahigitan ng lalakeng yan yung last sex ng ex-syota mo dati. ganoon lang cguro yun.

there is nothing new in this world except technology.

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Heartyyy.00
September 8, 2022 (29 days ago)

Nagbasa ka ba?? Asan part jan yung prinoblema ko yung sex? Mukha ba kong naghahanap ng kasex para makalimot? Gusto kitang itag sa lobby at pukpuk pukpukin ng toinks moji.😤

Eytch❣️

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A
Alekis
September 8, 2022 (28 days ago)

May tg kba? Wag na kamioag away usap tau tg

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D
DK.29
September 8, 2022 (29 days ago)

Pm sent. And isa pa, nangyari na ang mga nangyari. Kung iisipin mo lang ang kahapon or yung mga SANA. Di ka makaka move forward. Wag mo pilitin sarili mo na madaliin ang mga bagay bagay. Nasaktan ka, kasi nag mahal ka ng totoo. Ang mahalaga minahal mo sya ng totoo, at hindi lang sex ang basehan ng pagmamahal. It is one way of expressing it. Pero madalas init lang ng katawan yan. Kung ikaw talaga ang magal bya hihintayin ka nya, kasi kung mahal ka nya talaga, worth it ka dapat diba?. Ang dapat mong gawin, ay matutunan mong tanggapin ang nangyari wag mo e lugmok sarili mo. Patawarin mo ang sarili mo at patawarin mo sya. Deserve mo na maging masaya, kahit single ka man or hindi dapat sumaya ka. Wag ka mag madali magka relasyon, gamutin mo muna sarili mo. 😊

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Heartyyy.00
September 8, 2022 (29 days ago)

Ikr. Anyways, di naman talaga ako looking forward na magkaroon ng bagong relationship. Im trynna be happy with myself muna talaga and friends. Thanks tho. Your message makes me think na i only did the right thing.😊

Eytch❣️

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DK.29
September 8, 2022 (29 days ago)

Maganda yan. Magiging ok ka din.  Pinili mo lang kung ano ang gusto mo sa panahon na yun. May takot ka at pag aalinlangan. Live your life, wag mo na pag dudahan ang desisyon mo. Dumaan na yun, at madami pang dadaan sa buhay mo 😊. Oo di ma iwasan na isipin mo kung ano sana ang pwedeng nangyari. Pero wag mo na parusahan ang sarili mo, tumingin ka sa harap mo nanjan ang family mo, mga kaibigan mo na mahal na mahal ka. Hinihintay ka nila hearty lalo na ng family mo. Miss ka na nila. Be happy, di man agad agad pero basta be happy. 😊

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M
Mr.M
September 8, 2022 (29 days ago)

What if story ito.Lam mo kung KAYO e KAYO pa rin sa huli.Ngunit ika nga ngayon "Pinagtagpo ngunit hindi itinadhana."So dahil sa pandemya at etc naputol ang inyong pagmamahalan.Sabihin na nagkatuluyan kayo palagay mo masaya palagi?Walang kasiguruhan kahit KASAL at may ANAK mayroong susubok sa tibay ng pagmamahal nyo sa isa't isa.Nga pala nabangit mo gusto mo may independence ka kahit may bf o asawa na.Swerte mo kung sumang ayon siya dahil kung ayaw eh issue na yan.Bago pa pagtalunan e may compromise para fair.Kaso nga sa iba siya nagparaos at sumabit malas nya.At ang matinding tanong..."Papayag ka ba maging MISTRESS imbes na MRS?"Sa kakakulit baka bumigay ka timbangin mo maige goodluck.

Minsan na namatay pero muli nabuhay

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astralx
September 8, 2022 (29 days ago)

First sa tanong mo if nag yes ka eh maging masaya kayo. Di ka din sure if maging masaya kayo o hindi maybe sya maging masaya pero ikaw hindi or vice versa. But one thing is for sure mahirap gawin pero kailan, you need to let go of the what ifs mo and move forward. Second sa your friends and family are not judging you and sa pagkakasabi mo nga alam mong ikaw ang nagjujudge sa sarili mo kaya ka nahihiya sa knila. Better to reconnect with them maybe slowly. Your friends and family don't care if they are right or if you are wrong, I think what they care the most is to see you are genuinely happy again. What you really need right now is someone that will listen if may friend ka na ganun or family member start talking with them.

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dencio2011
September 8, 2022 (28 days ago)

Life is a choice, you made one so live with it and move forward. Let’s assume that there is no pandemic and no cool off, there no guarantee na d cya maka  buntis ng other girl while in relation sau or ng live in kau at ginawa kang punching bag or ginutom ka o inanakan ka at sumama sa other girl.  Wag Mong kalabanin sarili mo, that why your getting anxiety kasi tingin mo Mali ang decision mo base sa nakikita Mong snapshot ng reality. Life is not Facebook na Masaya lng nkpost.. Life is making choices and facing challenges. Lastly “ LOVE YOURSELF” because if you can’t no one will…

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brock15
September 8, 2022 (28 days ago)

Magpatingin ka. Obvious na may problema ka sa pag-iisip. Huwag mo awayun mga tao dito.

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HornyyyOne
September 8, 2022 (28 days ago)

Focus on yourself and your goal in life, dba sabi mo madami ka pa gustong gawin sa buhay so why not do that and try to be closer with your family and friends everyone makes a mistakes in their life im sure naiintindihan ka nila and try to bond with them more, stay strong someday marerealize mo na wla ka ng sakit na nararamdam sa tuwing makikita mo ex mo and hope u get better soon, try mo magpa consult sa psychiatrist bka di mo namamalayan na depressed ka na pla.

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taburlog00
September 8, 2022 (28 days ago)

You are smart. You were able to assess your problem and what triggered it. Just go through the process. The next step maybe is developing action plan/s. Then, execute and self-feedback to see what works. Kaya mo yan. Kapit lang sa matigas!!!

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otkep
September 8, 2022 (28 days ago)

it seems u are experiencing anxiety, and psych help will be a good option. nag flash back ang trauma mo nung nakita mo siya.

on the relationship, i think you did the right thing. kung mahal k talaga, eh magtitiis siya. i mean its not like hindi pa siya naka home run d b? it is expected na mas mature siya maghandle ng stress ng pandemic.

seek your family's help, sila pa din ang cguradong tutulong sa iyo unconditionally, pati mga trusted friends. getting your rnind busy helps. virtual friends is OK din naman as long as nakakatulong sa iyo to feep better

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Alekis
September 8, 2022 (28 days ago)

Wala kpa kasi bagong iniibig kaya ganyan. Ibaling mo nong sa iba na mas deserving. Normal lang sa atin masaktan dahil dyan tau nagiging matatag at matututo. Kasama na yan sa pagiging tao ntn. Hindi masama ang umibig pero ibigay nlng uli sa ibag tao wag na jan sa mga bagay na ikasama ng loob mo. Lilipas din yan.

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Gardoversus
September 9, 2022 (28 days ago)

If you want may mga psychiatrist na Libre nagbibigay ng payo hanap ka lang sa mga school like ust madami dun. Mas masarap sila kausap kesa sa Kung sino2 lang kakausapin mo. Try mo din kumausap ng mga pari maganda mag bigay ng payo Yun. Hanap ka lang sa fb at Sali ka sa groups ng mga may depression. I hope makatulong po

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desig
September 9, 2022 (28 days ago)

Do not live in what if. What if kung ganito or ganyan. Regrets foster anxiety and later on depression. I myself divulged my problems here and believe it or not, many of their suggestions helped me. Your problem is just temporary. Live your life. Be happy. Kapag nakita ka nila na happy ka at nagmove on, they will be happy for you also. You're young and have a full life ahead of you. Malay mo, 1 year from now, pagtatawanan mo nalang problema mo. And that is my motto in life.

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Takiyomi
September 9, 2022 (28 days ago)

Well said, desig. As time goes by, marerealize natin, nalagpasan ko ito? Sabay tawa ng tagumpay.

I don't need a lot, just a few who truly cares.

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Takiyomi
September 9, 2022 (28 days ago)

At your age, marami pang darating sayo. Mas mabigat pa pinagdaraanan ng iba kaya alam kong kakayanin mo iyan.

Nagkaroon din ako ng ganyang relationship at bilang lalake, mahirap ding tanggapin ang betrayal. Mabilis na kwento lang, may relationship ako na harap harapan na akong iniiputan sa ulo sa 4 yrs naming magkasama. Pero tanggap ko na, part of life eh. Hindi talaga minsan fair lalo kung tingin natin hindi tayo deserve sa ganun.

Let go mo na siya. He's only just a guy that you used to know.

I don't need a lot, just a few who truly cares.

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darkbahamut
September 9, 2022 (28 days ago)

It's his lost not yours, I don't see anything wrong consulting a professional, it's much better pa nga eh. No bias and no BS talk everything will be handled professionally

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Jen_love
September 9, 2022 (28 days ago)

If he really have loved you , he would be patiently waiting for the moment na makasama ka. Better think of it as a blessing in disguise. He's not the right person for you. If you can't move on or still feeling sad about it, try to divert your mind to some other things. Pag hindi Kaya, seek some professional's help. You're still young , don't get drowned over something na Wala ka nang magagawa. Give yourself some love and pampering. Be more beautiful and walk with chin up. 😉💅

CrazyMilf

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theBAD
September 9, 2022 (28 days ago)

it is what it is..dude ur old ebough to decide on things and young to do adventures, kaya choice mo yan..if you dont know what makes you happy find it, and once you do keep it..life is not a puzzle to solve

try only once

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rednaxel947
September 9, 2022 (28 days ago)

Try mo mapunta sa exile.another place na di ka kilala. Baka doon makawala lahat ng yan.kc if nakikita mo pa sya,andun pa mga friends mo na worried sa pinagdaanan mo umg sub concious ko ang nauunang maalala lahat ng yon.masaki kasi nagtiwala ka.naipagkaloob mo sa kanya ang virginity mo. Dapat sana inisip mo muna bago mo un binigay. Kayo kasi puro puso ang sinusunod nyo sa decisions nyo. Kaya nasa mataas ang utak para syang magamit sa decision sa buhay. Kahit 50% mind at 50% heart man lng sana, may maiiwan pa sa iyong kalahati.

rednaxel947

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Simpatiko1
September 9, 2022 (28 days ago)

Don't worry on such a thing time will flies and all the feelings you have right now will easy be diminished one at a time. I'm sure he is your 1st love and it's really extremely hard moving on but you have to endure it.. one day youll be waking up ended laughing all that happened in your past... Trust me it's hard but definitely youll get over it...

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snk3r3n
September 9, 2022 (28 days ago)

kindly listen to Ben&Ben songs ... The ones we once loved and Leaves

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Doubletiger228
September 9, 2022 (28 days ago)

The best thing to do to mend a broken heart is to fall in love again.

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Tjoedyshann
September 9, 2022 (28 days ago)

Sali ka sa tg namin. Wholsesome mga tao. Walang bastosan dun at iba pa.. puro pagmamayamana nasa utak ng mga kasama ko dun. Baka need mo ng ibang fucos para makalimutan mo talaga sya

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Tjoedyshann
September 9, 2022 (28 days ago)

*pagpapayaman

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Q
qazplm
September 9, 2022 (27 days ago)

Hello. To answer yung question mo muna, kung gusto mo na may makikinig sayo, and somehow making you look at things on a different perspective, then go with a psych.
Anyway, hindi sya madali. Yung pag move on. Yung baka sadabihin ng ibang tao na ang tagal na nun, move on na at sya ay naka move on blablabla. Yung tao, may kanya kanyang time. Minsan may aabutin ng sobrang tagal pero hindi pa rin maka move on. Lalo pa yung nakita mo sya ulit at pupunuin yung isip mo ng what ifs. What if pumayag noon, what if inisang tabi muna ang goal sa sarili etc etc. Pero hindi eh. He chose to be overwhelmed by the fact na hindi makapag kita. Pero may reason naman na pandemic. Kaso kung mahal ka talaga nya, nag antay yun hanggang sa ready ka na. And kahit well off na sya, hindi nya iblock yung goals mo. Kasi hindi naman yung point na kaya ka nyang buhayin kundi gusto mo ng masasabi mo sa sarili mo na naachieve mo.
(1/2)

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qazplm
September 9, 2022 (27 days ago)

Anyway, magiging mahirap, masakit sobra, kasi minahal mo ng sobra. Pero dsdating din ang time na magiging okay ka na. Sa akin, siguro, keep yourself busy with everything. Kahit na hindi makafocus dahil sa iniisip yun, go pa rin. Do something else. Play, study, travel, watch, eat, sleep, anything will do. And always remind yourself, sya ang nawalan dahil ikaw ang kawalan. Sometimes, encouraging ourselves, saying positive things to yourself will make a difference din kasi yung pag iisip. Mas maganda ako dun, or di hamak na mas angat ang pagkatao ko keda sa kasama nya ngayon.
Ayun lang. Sorry mahaba ^^
(2/2)

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Heartyyy.00
September 10, 2022 (27 days ago)

Exactly.😌

Eytch❣️

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Bulag
September 19, 2022 (18 days ago)

I think wag Psych hanapin mo yung comedyante at kwela kausap at lagi ka pakikinggan minsan kasi kpag lagi seryoso tao nkakabaliw din, atleast kpag kwela at may sense kausap hindi ka magiging palaisip ng nkaraan mo..

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Heartyyy.00
September 30, 2022 (7 days ago)

Meju totooml din. Haha.🤘🏼

Eytch❣️

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olijames04
September 26, 2022 (11 days ago)

Magiging okay ka din don't worry :) Masakit pa din cguro ngayon bec he's your first love but years from now, he'll just be a good memory of your younger years. You dodged a bullet when you two broke up bacause clearly, he's not the man for you. As for moving on, cry if you feel like crying,  write a journal, talk to God and let out all your feelings to Him. If you can, travel solo. Or kahit simpleng pasyal sa mga lugar na gusto mo puntahan; window shop sa mall while listening to the music you love can be a big help too.

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