Author writings 33

She was sad and he was lonely
Two mysterious soul meets that night
While the stars are shining so bright
And that begins a very wonderful tragedy...

Once there was a living doll
Who laughs and runs around the hall
She has scars and bruises on her face
Blood spilled all over the place

At night she'll sing a sad lullaby
Tears start falling in her eyes
Singing turns into screaming and howling
Everything went dark, oh God what's happening?

Chanting "I want to live, I want you die"
While smiling from ear to ear
"I'll be happy again, you won't see me cry"
Screaming for the whole world to hear

Knife on her hand as she walked towards me
Looking into my eyes as she laughs hysterically
"Will you let me live?" She asked
I nodded as I reach out to her my hand......

Bending my knees as I beg
Chanting a prayer as bow my head
God, if you're there can you hear me?
Unchain me from the darkness, set me free

Anywhere I go I cannot escape
Day by Day I'm losing my faith
Voices in my head are screaming again
Keeps me awake every now and then

I tried to hide the pain when the sun appear
Forcing myself to let go of these fear
But my hands are trembling as the night comes
Trying to run but my feet start to numb

Day and night I am here, I am awake
I'm not sure how much of these I can take
Someone open the chamber and help me
The key is in my eyes, just look you'll see......

It was already 4:30 in the afternoon nung magising ako from my afternoon nap. I passed out after cleaning my room. I check my phone and got a text from kuya — "What are you doing baby girl?" It was 2 hours ago pero nag reply pa rin ako.

"Just woke up" — my reply

I took a selfie and send it to him, I was wearing a red lace babydoll nighties, he bought it for me. Tinatamad pa akong bumangon kaya nag decide akong manood na lang ng TV show (The Mentalist). Damn! These agents are so freaking hot! I like the serious face of Agent Cho, those arms though hmm sarap kagatin. While Agent Rigsby on the other side, he has the looks plus matangkad pa. Then my phone beeps.

"Shit, baby girl behave. I'm in the middle of something right now." — text ni Kuya

I smiled, then hinubad ko yung nighties ko at nag selfie ulit ng naka panty na lang.

"Shh, stay calm kuya" — reply ko sa text niya then saka ko sinend...

It is now 3 am in the morning and yet gising pa din ako. Been tossing and turning in my bed but I'm still wide awake. Kasalanan talaga to ng mga kasamahan ko sa trabaho, mga gagang yun. Napag-usapan kasi namin kanina about sa mga ex, how their relationship ended, why it ended — that kind of stuff. Hanggang sinabi ng ka workmate ko ang mga salitang "Pinagtagpo pero hindi itinadhana" aray naman, nasamid ako ng sarili kong laway cause I remembered someone from the past. A painful past.

Magka-chat na kami dati pa ni Zach, natawa pa ako nung una kasi he was asking kung open ba daw ako sa FWB. I answered him na hindi na, kasi graduate na ako sa ganyan. Simula nun, magka-chat na kami every now and then. He was so nice to me, hanggang sa kasama na siya sa daily routine ko then boom! Out of nowhere, may feelings na pala ako sa kaniya, ewan ko ba kainis talaga yung ganyan, wag nga kayo marupok ako! Charot haha.

Then one day, I just went crazy. Sinabi ko sa kaniya through...

Eyes closed, mouth slightly open
As she enter the kingdom of heaven
Two fingers dipped in her inner core
Heat from her body starts to rise like an Indian summer
Slowly moving her fingers in and out
She's loving the feeling, no doubt
Biting her lower lip to stop from moaning
Oh how she love to pleasure herself every morning
"Aaahh!! Fucckk I'm cumminggg!"...

Habang naglalakad papunta sa abangan ng jeep ay napatingin ako sa wrist watch ko. Damn, 9:45 pm na pala. Mahabang pila na naman to. Medyo malayo-layo pa ako sa waiting shed ng bumuhos ang malakas na ulan, lakad-takbo na ginagawa ko. Pagkadating ko ang dami ngang tao, ang malas lang di ko na inabutan yung roof ng waiting shed. Ugh!! Dali-dali kong hinahanap yung payong ko na nasa bag. Parang pocket pa ni Doraemon sa lalim yung bag ko.

"Uhmm miss?" Sabi nung lalaki sa harap ko.

Di ko pinansin, busy ako sa paghahalungkat ng bag ko. Asan na ba kasi yung payong na yun?! Ugggh!

"Miss?" Sabay kalabit sa akin nung nasa harap ko.

"What?!" Irita kong tanong sabay lingon tingin sa kanya.

Na shookt si kuya but still manage to give me a smile.

"Taray naman! Eto, share na tayo ng payong" Nakangiti pa din nitong sabi.

"Louie! Ikaw pala yan, salamat hinahanap ko nga yung payong ko dito sa bag eh" sabi ko habang hinahalukay pa...

Sa mga bituin ako'y nakatingin
Habang umuusal ng isang panalangin
Inaasam na iyong dinggin
Ang binubulong nitong damdamin

Bakas ng ating kahapon aking nagugunita
Napapangiti habang nakamasid sa mga tala
Kay sarap balikan ang dating tayo
Noong hawak-hawak mo pa ang mga kamay ko

Ngunit ibabaon na ang lahat sa limot
Iisipin na lang na ito ay isang bangungot
Umaasang sa pagdilat ng mata mawawala ang lungkot
At maibasan ang paninibugho at takot

Kaya ngayon ako'y humihiling sa mga bituin
Na sana ikaw ay kaniyang yakapin
At ibulong sayo ang mga salitang "Mahal Kita"
Kahit ngayon ay masaya ka na sa piling ng iba...

Sunday6:14pm

It's been a month now since our getaway, isang buwan na din ang lumipas nung may muntik ng mangyari sa amin ni Bryan. Nasa isang hotel kami, golden anniversary ng lola at lolo ni Kate. Ako, Bryan and Miko lang ang nakapunta, parehong busy sa work sina Clyde at Ann kaya di sila makahabol. Naglalakad ako papuntang bar ng hablutin ni Kate ang braso ko.

"Hep, hep may utang ka pa sa akin" sabi nito

"Ano naman yun?" Kunot noo kong tanong

"Update niyong dalawa ni Papa B!" Kinikilig nitong sabi

"Anong update sinasabi mo" pa kunwari kong sabi.

"Pwede ba, wag kang pa virgin! Nakita ko kayong nagpapalitan ng laway sa resort. Umayos ka Eunice" sabay kurot sa braso ko

"Aray naman. Mashaket!" Arte kong sabi

"Ano na nga?!" Pangungulit nito.

Kinuwento ko sa kaniya yung nangyari sa shower room, kung paano na...

Tales of an endless heart
Curses is the fool who's willing
Can't change the way we are
One kiss away from killing

Is this sit taken?

Don't you say, don't you say it
Don't say, don't you say it
One breath it'll just break it
So shut your mouth and run me like a river

My heart is pounding wildly hearing that familiar voice. No, it cant be... I slowly turn my head to the man from the past.

Shut your mouth, baby stand and deliver
Holy hands, ooh they make me a sinner
Like a river, like a river
Shut your mouth and run me like a river

Bryan?!... halos pabulong kong tanong.

Tuesday
5:40pm

Nasa isang private resort kami ngayon. Kasama ko pa din yung tropa ko and si Bryan. Its been 8 months now since nung nagkakilala kami, after nung walwal night namin madalas na siyang sumasabay sa gala ng barkada. Hes funny in his own...