Crystalite

Joined: April 1, 2015 (4 years old)
Writings: 4
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Borrowed Time

Submitted by on March 26, 2019 (25 days ago)
Posted in Blog: English · Categories: Non-Erotic · Tags: , , ,

She smiled at the barista after getting her freshly brewed cup of coffee and headed towards the door to sit on her usual spot outside the coffee shop. She was dismayed to see someone else is sitting there. Just as she was about to look away, the man turned his head and looked at her.

Their eyes locked. She smiled hesitantly and he smiled back. And instead of taking the table next to him, she found herself sitting on the chair across him, at the same table.

That is how they started.

This daily routine never failed. As soon as she arrived in the cafe, he would arrive minutes after her and vice versa. They would talk endlessly about anything they can thing of. Soon, she realized she always looked forward to this time, to the time they share together.

What a happy couple! That's how they seemed to be if someone saw them. But they are not a couple. They are just two people, enjoying each other's company. She, who broke her heart recently and he ca...
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Resignation

Submitted by on January 27, 2019 (2 months ago)
Posted in Blog: English · Categories: Non-Erotic · Tags: ,

(Background music: I Can't Make You Love Me)

Have you ever felt that you are sometimes functioning on autopilot? I do.

It's on those days when my heart and mind are not seeing eye to eye. It's when my heart is so broken but I cannot let you see it. I smile despite the pain, I laugh despite the hurt. It's when I keep remembering I cannot truly have you. It's on those days when that fear of you leaving me is fast becoming a reality. And yet, I cannot stop myself from loving you. So I try to block those thoughts away and do what I can to maybe, make those memories last. Enough memories for me to get through the pain when you leave.

I know we cannot escape the inevitable. Until then, I just have to keep doing what I have been doing. My mind seems to have finally resigned to its fate but my heart is still taking its time. Funny, how we thought Fate brought us together only for her to tear us apart.

Now, if only my eyes would stop crying...
...
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She Waits

Submitted by on October 28, 2018 (5 months ago)
Posted in Blog: English · Categories: Non-Erotic · Tags: ,

She sat on the windowsill, rested her head on the window frame, hugged herself and closed her eyes. The cool night wind made her shiver but she didn't leave. She savored the coldness on her skin. The icy breeze was nothing compared to the ice she felt in her heart. If only she could find a way to literally freeze her heart, she would. Her heart felt numb, anyway. Now, she doesn't want to feel anything at all.

She looked up and saw the stars twinkling, some faintly, some brightly. She smiled bitterly. How she remembered the time they would look at the stars together and count shooting stars. But now, she's all alone and that thought made her eyes well with tears. She shut her eyes and the tears fell. She tried to smile and wiped the tears away.

She loved him with all that she has, gave all she can give. And yet, it was never enough. She made mistakes, she knows it. But she tries her best not to do them again, but unconsciously, she does. She hated herself for being...
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Do You Still Love Me?

Submitted by on September 6, 2018 (7 months ago)
Posted in Blog: English · Categories: Non-Erotic · Tags: ,

"Do you still love me?"

That question kept swimming in my head lately. It's haunting, it keeps echoing, reverberating, drowning all other noise. It's the only thing I hear. The thing that makes me wonder. Do you still love me?

Years ago, you told me that I'm the woman you need, the woman who made you feel complete. The first time you said you love me brought a smile to my face. I was so happy. When I said I loved you, I meant it and I still mean it. I still love you despite what is happening to us.

What happened? My tears just won't stop falling. They keep streaming down my face. I tell them to stop, but they just won't listen. They're hardheaded, much like the one who tells them to stop.

We used to be really happy, loving each other. But now, it seems that each day is a battle to be won. Not a day goes by that will irk you up with something that I do. I am becoming your frustration and disappointment. I don't understand anymore and yet I sti...
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Senseless

Submitted by on October 16, 2016 (2 years ago)
Posted in Blog: English · Categories: Non-Erotic · Tags: , , , ,

(Music in the background: Out Of Reach by Gabrielle, Chasing Pavements by Adelle, Stay by Lisa Loeb,I Can't Make You Love cover by Adelle, Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow, etc., etc.)

I think I have cried my eyes dry. Or so I thought. Lately, I have been feeling numb. I don't know if it was the intensity of the emotions I feel or maybe I just don't want to feel anymore so that when I have decided to say my goodbye, I won't be affected as much. Yes, I am now torn into staying or letting go. And I think I have become attached to alcohol more than I would like to admit. I guess this is good so it will build up my tolerance for alcohol. And yes, it will also block any pain that comes my way.

It's really heartbreaking to realize that I never truly had his heart as he claimed. Wherein I have come into terms with my past relationships and decided to move on, he hasn't. And here I thought I was the one who helped him get through his darkest days, as he once...
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Am I That Easy To Forget?

Submitted by on October 12, 2016 (2 years ago)
Posted in Blog: English · Categories: Non-Erotic · Tags: , , ,

Inspired by the song Am I That Easy To Forget by Engelbert Humperdinck

"They say you've found somebody new,"
No she's not someone new. She was his first love, and still is his love


"But that won't stop my loving you.
I just can't let you walk away,
Forget the love I had for you."
I can't just let you go without a fight. Will I win, though?


"Guess I could find somebody, too,
But I don't want no one but you.
How could you leave without regret?"
And you said that you'd have no one else after me. Now it makes me laugh bitterly.


"Am I that easy to forget?"
Seems the case, I can easily be replaced.


"Before you leave be sure you find
You want her love much more than mine."
Though you say you both can't have a relatio...
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To The One Who Owns My Heart

Submitted by on October 10, 2016 (2 years ago)
Posted in Blog: English · Categories: Non-Erotic · Tags: , , ,

I love you and you know that. I have loved no one as much as I love you. At this moment, I am not in my right mind as it is clouded by alcohol: alcohol that I have been taking since yesterday. I tried to take my life but I was such a coward. I felt the pain of the blade cutting my flesh and I couldn’t go through it. It hurt. Or maybe, I wasn’t drunk enough to not feel the pain.

Hey, don’t cry. I’m not worth it. I could never compare to your one great love who has resurfaced. She still is the one your heart cries and long for. As for me, what can I do? Though in appearance I am the prettiest among the girls you’ve had but your eyes find her prettier than me. Though I have been with you for the past years, yet your heart has remained true to her.

It’s such a sad reality when I realize your heart never truly belonged to me. All those years, those times when you professed your love for me, suddenly, all felt like a lie now. At this...
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