Writings about losing someone (1)
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SINGLE DAD...proud of it...

Submitted by on April 23, 2014 (2 years ago)
Posted in Confession: English | Categories: Mature, Romance | Tags: , ,

the first of May is coming again, painful reminder of what i have lost twelve years ago...there are times when i couldnt help but blame myself...if only i made time...if only i fought for her...maybe she will still be beside me...all those time when all i do is work...when money is all that matters to secure my family's future...i didnt know that im starting to lose her...lose her to someone else...

twelve years ago, this date, maybe im still working...overtime as always...went home to a sleeping wife...it is like a routine for me...then one day...i went home...and she was gone...my little girl is crying alone...

the most painful time is when my little girl asked me "where is mama?"...i made the biggest fake smile, said a sweet lie to her, held back my tears, and gave her the warmest hug a father could give...

almost twelve years of struggle...going home to an empty bed...i learned to drink hard, womanize, play the game as what people call it...i took every hard blow that life gave me...sometimes i wanted to quit...but i cant...someone else is counting on me...i can never leave my child...

so i did what i thought was right..became a mother and father...and the irony of it all is that i grew up without parents..so how would i do it?...i saw myself, sitting on the grass, talking to a kid, making a deal...both of us will fight this life, live through it...whatever the hell life would be...and so we did...

after almost twel...

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