Writings about funny (9)
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Travelogue of a Vagabond: Mt. Batulao

Submitted by on November 20, 2015 (1 year ago)
Posted in Blog: English | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags: , , ,

I love travelling. And i love taking photos. I love eating too. Currently my new love is cooking. And what ties all of these together is my love for writing. I was reading thru my previous notes and stumbled upon this. It was originally written around 2010. I hope you like it. :)

Travelogue of a Vagabond: Mt. Batulao

"We're gonna go hiking tomorrow, wanna come?" My brother casually asks. "Do you think I can handle it?" I replied. Haven't been jogging in almost four months now. The weathers kinda gloomy. It was cold in the morning, it was raining in the evening. OK. I’m just too lazy to jog after those 2 weeks off ok? Happy now? Where was I. Hrmph. So I casually asked if I can handle it, bearing in mind that I have no exercise at all. "Yeah sure. The guide she says it's an easy course" he casually answered. So I said, "What the hell, sure. Why not." Apparently, it was hell.

So there we were at the starting point at Evercrest somewhere in Batangas. Took a tricycle (to those who are not in the know, it’s a motorcycle with a sidecar which you rent for short trips in some places here in the Philippines) and ventured to the start of the new trail to the summit.

The hike started fairly easy. I was taking shots with the camera on sceneries or even trivial things along the way. The whole purpose of me joining this hike was to practice my picture-taking (I can’t call it photography yet. It’s still too embarrassing to call it such.) ...

Big Surprise!

Submitted by on April 19, 2015 (1 year ago)
Posted in Confession: True Story, Taglish | Categories: Romance | Tags: , ,

I met Maja not too long ago. She's a very uncomplicated woman which makes it easier for me to get along with her just fine.

After few weeks of exchanging text messages I requested for a video call which she happily accommodated. She told me in advance that she'll be in the living room adjacent to the small terrace coz the breeze from outside is refreshing especially during the summer time.

We continue to Skype in a random manner based on availability. We discuss everything. In short, no unnecessary disagreements but purely exchanging of thoughts and ideas.

One warm and humid evening while on a video call, Maja's dad showed up like before to watch a teleserye.

"Nakikita ba niya ako?" That was via text message to make sure that she didn't forget to minimize the video.

"No. As usual, they didn't know that you can see us hahaha." She replied.

Her dad stood up and walked back and forth without disturbing her. After a couple of minutes her mom showed up, too.

"Wait lang ha? Matutulog na rin mga yan since almost 10PM na." She said.

"Don't worry I'll wait." I said.

So I waited for a couple more minutes. Both her parents were just standing behind her and that's where it all happened.

"Oh my God!" I said, "Your mom!!!"

Why? Because in my full view, M...

A Diva’s Confession: The Curious Case of Ten-Second Tim

Submitted by on August 6, 2014 (2 years ago)
Posted in Confession: True Story, Taglish | Categories: Erotic Couplings, First Time, One Night Stand | Tags: , , ,

A Diva’s Confession:  The Curious Case of Ten-Second Tim 
I met Tim when a friend introduced us last year. He was 27, very good looking, and I can tell he works out because he has a nice body. I didn’t pay him much attention during the time we were introduced because I thought he was dating my friend, but I was surprised when a week later he added me up on Facebook. He chatted me up and told me he found me interesting and asked for my number. Three days later, he asked me out on a date. I wanted to say no at first because he was five years younger than I am, and I don’t generally go out with younger guys as a rule. But he was persistent, and he finally made me say yes.

The first date turned out well than expected. He insisted on holding my hand all the while we were together. He would have his arm around my shoulder or around my waist. PDAs on a first date? Too much right? But he made me feel like I was the fairest one of all. I went home that day reeling from the aftereffects of our first date and feeling like a teenager. But did I want to be in a relationship with this guy? No, I didn’t. But hey, no sane woman would say no to dating a handsome man with a great body. Not even me, and I’m not even claiming to be sane all the time.

Now the trouble with being single is that whenever the sexual need arises, there’s no one for me to turn to. Normally, I would ignore being horny. I would get myself busy with work. Or take a cold shower. But ignoring the urge can be a bad thing. It builds up slo...

Conversations With My Muse

Submitted by on July 8, 2014 (2 years ago)
Posted in Blog: English | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags: , , , ,

Conversations With My MuseI continued to stare at the blank Microsoft document on my laptop screen. I have been staring at it for a long time now. I am stumped. I do not know what else to write or how to start or where to start.

“This is frustrating!” I almost screamed to an empty room when a sudden radiance filled my room. I squinted my eyes and noted a figure – a him.

“God?” I asked.


I noted the all-white get up and then said, “My guardian angel?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Do I look like a guardian angel to you? Look, no feather wings!” He made a half turn so I could see that he had a no wings on his back.

I raised an eyebrow and noted the absence of a wand. “I doubt you are my fairy godmother.”

“Well, I wanted to be one, but I failed the flight test and my poof didn’t sound like a poof at all but a loud BANG! They suggested I seek other options.” He said wistfully.

"A male fairy godmother?"

"Oh don't be judgmental!  It is an in-thing nowadays, you know."

“I think I had too much coffee… I’m beginning to imagine things.” I said as I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I flicked my eyes open and he’s still there.

“Still think you’re imagining me?”

“Who are you?”

“I’m your muse.”


“Yes, muse. A guiding spirit. A source of inspiration.” When...

A Diva's Confession: It's A Little Bit Funny

Submitted by on July 5, 2014 (2 years ago)
Posted in Confession: Taglish | Categories: One Night Stand | Tags: , ,

A Diva's Confession: It's A Little Bit Funny

Wala akong maisip na title ng confession eh. Yan na lang since comedy naman ang dating ng confession ko.

There was this one time I agreed to meet with a guy sa Jollibee Kalentong. I lived in Bacood at that time and he lived in San Juan so meeting in Kalentong was perfect for us. I knew something was already off when I saw him and noted that I was about 2 inches taller than him. My height is average at 5 feet and 2 inches. So that would make him around 5 inches tall give or take. It's a good thing that I don't wear heels.

Anyway, so we walked all the way to his apartment, which was mga 2-3 blocks din from Kalentong. When we reached his place and immediately after locking the door, he immediately grabbed me and kissed me sa leeg.

"Oh my.. Ang bango mo.. Kanina pa ako tinitigasan sa pabango mo," he said.

"Wait.. Wait muna.." I said. I was actually having second thoughts at that time about sleeping with him. I just had this bad feeling that things weren't going to turn out okay. But he paid no heed and just continued kissing me, this time sa lips - sloppy kisses and wet ones. I don't like sloppy kisses. Before I knew it, he pushed me to his bed and pumaibabaw agad sya sakin, still kissing my lips, cheeks, neck, shoulders.  "I am horny for you," sambit nya.

"We're still dressed. Wait lang, let me take my clothes off." Sabi ko sa kanya. "No need. Pwede na to," sagot naman nia sakin.

I was wearing a ski...

Funny/embarrassing/epic/sablay moments niyo about sa sex?

Submitted by on October 8, 2013 (3 years ago)
Posted in Confession: True Story, Tagalog | Categories: One Night Stand | Tags: , , ,

I met a girl na sa text ko lang nakilala, naging kami, pero pareho kaming merong mga partners, at casually lang napagusapan na mag sex kami (isang dahilan bat hindi na ako naniniwala sa seryosong relasyon…) Syempre game ako. Sinundo ko siya tapos SOGO alabang kami. 

Nung andun na kami. Hubad na. kingina! Ambaho ng pempem – as in!

Di to exagg pero lumamlam talaga yung galit na galit ko ng junior. Nasa may pusod palang ako amoy ko na yung malansa na amoy pawis na ewan ng pempem niya! Kala ko madadaan sa tubig pero hindi parin. 1st time kong hindi makakain ng pempem before sex. Kingina talaga. Pinasok ko nalang yung akin tas sa posisyon ko na lang dinaan para hindi siya makahalata.

Meron din isa, ex ko naman to. Antagal ko inalagaan tapos nung dalaga na e sa iba lang din naman pala magpapadale. So medyo revenge sex to. SOGO malate naman kami, kingina, pag hubad ayan na. BOOOM! Same scenario din!

Parang pinaghalong semen, pawis, panghi, na ewan yung amoy. Although yung kanya nadaan ko pa sa tiis. Nakain ko naman siya at nadale parin.

Dahil bothered na ako sa amoy, aaaantttaaagggaaaallll ko nilabasan, as in. wew.

Til now hindi ko parin mawari yung amoy nung mga yun. Gusto ko sana sabihan sila pareho na baka kaya hiniwalayan sila ng mga Bfs nila e dahil hindi talaga kayang tiisin yung amoy ng pempem nila.

NOTE TO MYSELF: before going to bed, make sure maamoy ang pempem, pag mabaho wag na, sayang rent...

Sa Kitchen

Submitted by on August 31, 2013 (3 years ago)
Posted in Story: True Story, Taglish | Categories: Exhibitionist and Voyeur, Taboo, Romance | Tags: , ,

Hope you enjoyed my other post.  This is another true story which happened in 2009.  My girlfriend at the time was Jen, she 23 at the time.  She was studying in a law school.  She is your typical girl, outgoing, smart, funny and loves adventure.  She was staying with her widowed aunt.

On Sunday's her aunt would be out the whole afternoon as she is a Bingo regular at the casino.  Their household help also has their day-off so we would have all the time to do our stuff at her aunts house.

One lazy Sunday afternoon, we planned to watch movies.  Her aunt doesn't know of our relationship so I have to sneak into the house when she is away already.  I was outside her waiting for her aunt's car to pass so when it does, she was at the gate waiting for me.  She was wearing a shorts, and a black sphagetti strap tops.  She was not wearing any bra anymore.  She was teasing me all the way as she led me to the living room.  At one side of the room, there is a very big mirror that the whole part of the house can be seen.  We were already playing when an idea came up.  I asked her if we can do it in front of the mirror and watch ourselves as we fuck our brains out.  She was so excited to do it also.  So we pulled the sofa and moved tables and some chairs to position the sofa that we would see the best view of ourselves.  Feeling so aroused thinking of it, I was having a huge hard-on.  Since I was wearing jeans, I kinda felt pain as it was being presse...

one night with so much love and pain part 2

Submitted by on December 4, 2012 (4 years ago)
Posted in Story: True Story, Taglish | Categories: Romance | Tags: , ,

nagyoyosi ako sa labas ng bar buti na lang di nila ako nakita kasi nasa gilid lang ako. Kinakabahan talaga ako.sumisilip silip lang ako sa kanila then nakita kong umorder na sila ng drinks!

hahahah nauhaw ako bigla pumasok na ako sa loob ng bar tapos lumapit na ako sa kanila

me: can i join? (nagulat si mike di ko alam kung nagulat dahil andun ako or nagulat sya sa suot ko .nakadress akong red with matching red lipstick and labas cleavage! Yun lang naman hahahaha

chard: oh ellaine hi! You look so great! (sabay kindat)
me: thanks ano ba yang friend mo parang nakakita ng multo ha
mike: have a sit! Eto beer oh! Shot!
me: thanks! kinakabahan talaga ako sa gagawin ko kaya inubos ko yung isang bote sabay yosi na din.then nagsimula na ako

me: bakit mo nagawa yun ha?
mike:gusto kong humingi ng tawad sayo nadala lang ako ng kalasingan kagabe! Tsaka gusto kita ellaine me:pero may asawa at anak ka na tsaka alam mo namang mali di ba? Ano bang klaseng pagkagusto yan ha? Gustong angkinin? Gustong makasex? Gusto mong makaisa? Gusto mo kong tikman ganun ba ha?

wow ha di na nakaimik si mike nung time na yun . At natahimik din ako bigla!
chard: shot!!!!
me: gusto kong makipagkita sa asawa mo!
mike:ellaine please sorry na maawa ka!
me: tumayo ka! nang nakatayo na sya lumapit ako sa kanya tapos binayagan ko sya! Namimilipit sa saket si mike

chard: ellaine...

one night with so much love and pain part 1

Submitted by on December 4, 2012 (4 years ago)
Posted in Story: True Story, Taglish | Categories: Romance | Tags: , ,

well first time ko po ito na magsulat at magpost ng aking true sex na may halong love story.

Na curious lang ako .so please bare with me!
Ako pala si ellaine mahilig makipag inuman and yosi galore din ako. i am beautiful ,chubby .maputi.21 na ako ngayon! ako yung tipong kahit may kasama kang gf e talagang mapapatingin ka saken!pero 2 years na akong walang boyfriend kasi nakabuntis ex bf ko!
takot na akong magka bf ulit 5 years kasi kami parang ang hirap pumasok sa panibagong relasyon baka hanap hanapin ko sya..pero sinasabe ko sa sarili ko di naman pwedeng habang buhay na lang akong matatakot! Tsaka auq tumandang dalaga! Mahilig kami magsex ng ex bf ko halos 4 times a week yun ata libangan namin pati na manood ng porn videos.then after namin na manood.
well tootooot time! Dahil wala akong bf lagi ako nag iistarbucks magisa may lumapit sakin na 2 guy asking for my cp number syempre pakipot sa umpisa pero binigay ko pa din .actually cute yung kumuha ng number ko. name ay chard ung isa negro mike ang name friend nya. Umuwi na ako then may nagtext saken '' hi ellaine this is chard. Di ba taga marikina ka pupunta kasi kami ng friend kong si mike sa isang bar malapit sa inyo.invite sana kita.'' well sabi ko '' okay hahahaha anong oras ba?'' ''

9 pm sa ***** bar!'' Sbi nya So nagkita kami naginuman kwentuhan about sa lovelife ko .then pati sa ex bf ko kinwento ko.hanggang sa umamin sa akin yung mike na may gusto sya saken hanggang sa nalasin...