Posted in Poem: English | Categories: Erotic | Tags: funny, true
If sex is dirty
and babies come from sex
then babies must be dirty.
If babies are dirty
and babies become adults
then adults must be dirty....
Posted in Story: Fiction, Tagalog | Categories: Erotic Couplings, Romance, One Night Stand | Tags: funny, ninong, Comedy, humor, nerdy
Ninong 8 - Ang Nalalapit na Pagtatapos
Paguwi ko ng bahay, pumasok kaagad ako sa kwarto ko para magisip. Kailangan kong magmuni-muni ng tamang diskarte para ke Charmaine. Nahanap ko na sya, iniisip ko kung itetext ko si Ninong tungkol dito, pero sinarili ko na lang muna para suspense. Hindi matanggal ang ngiti sa mga labi ko nung nakita ko ulit si Charmaine, at imperness, kanina ko lang napagmasdan ang suso nya, aba’y malaki at parang firm na firm, para lang syang stuff toy ganyan.
Ang saya lang ng experience na makita ko ang babaeng matagal ko ng pinapangarap at malapit lang pala sya sa tinitirahan ko. Nagtataka ngayon ako, bakit di ko sya nakikita dati pa. Matagal na ko sa lugar na to pero sadyang di nagtatagpo ang landas naming dalawa. Malamang madalang lumabas ng bahay ang babaeng to, sa kinis ba naman ng kutis nya parang di naaarawan eh. Although nagtataka ko sa betlog ko, di talaga naaarawan pero sadyang me kaitiman.
Pati si Baby #3 iniisip ko pa rin kung nasibak ko ba talaga sya, kasi nga parang totoong totoo ang mga naganap. Nararamdaman ko pa rin ang hagod ng dila nya sa katawan ko, yung pagkutkot ng daliri nya sa tonguts ko. Pati ang pagpasok ni junjun sa wet na wet nyang femfem. Goddamnnnn!!! Ang pakiramdam ko ngayon eh parehas ng pakiramdam pag naligo ka sa dagat ng two hours and fifteen minutes at umahon, pag pinikit mo mata mo pakiramdam mo inaalon ka pa rin ng tubig. Ngayon pag pumikit ako, parang naglalabas pasok pa rin si ...
Posted in Story: True Story, Tagalog | Categories: One Night Stand | Tags: sex, motel, lesbian, funny, college, girls, cute, Timog, Club, Morato
Carlo : No. Kaya ko pa. Nagulat lang ako na mas basa pa itong pekpek mo kaysa diyan (nginuso niya ang pagkakatapon ko ng alak sa dibdib ko) You wanna go somewhere else? Pwede ka bang lumabas?
Gusto ko, at pwedeng pwede akong labasan! Pero hindi muna ako sumagot para magpapilit.. at the same time, pinapakiramdaman ko pa rin si Carlo kung mahusay ba siya sa romansa, pero kung kamayan lang ang batayan.. pasado!
Siguro mabilis na typist itong si Carlo.. mahusay sa keyboard, lahat ng daliri may designation! Nakapasok ang kamay niya sa shorts ko.. ang hinliliit at hintuturo hinahawi ang labi ng puki ko, ang fuck finger at palasingsingan nakatutok sa pwerta, 'Ay!' Medyo nabigla ako sa pagkakapasok niya ng dalawang daliri niya sa pwerta ko. Hindi ko sigurado kung alin sa dalawang daliri niya ang ginagamit niya but I am most certain isa lang sa dalawang daliring nakapasok ang tila nangangalabit sa loob.. ang hinlalaki niya naman ang nakapwesto sa tinggil ko. Sa totoo lang pwede siyang maningil at magprovide ng hand service, dahil may expertise!
Carlo : Anong oras ba kayo uuwi?
Ako : Bakit ba ang dami mong tanong? Hindi ka ba busy? Tapusin mo munhh.. (umakbay ako kay Carlo saka bumukaka ng bahagya.. nakapagitan ang isang hita ko sa hita niya.. saka ko hinimas ang ang kamay niyang nakapasok sakin mula sa labas ng shorts ko) ahh.. ito. (Saka ako umabot ng isang baso ng iniinom namin, I took in one mouthful of drink tsaka ko siya sinabunutan, tumayo...
Posted in Blog: English | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags: funny, Travel, Travelogue, Mt. Batulao
I love travelling. And i love taking photos. I love eating too. Currently my new love is cooking. And what ties all of these together is my love for writing. I was reading thru my previous notes and stumbled upon this. It was originally written around 2010. I hope you like it. :)
Travelogue of a Vagabond: Mt. Batulao
"We're gonna go hiking tomorrow, wanna come?" My brother casually asks. "Do you think I can handle it?" I replied. Haven't been jogging in almost four months now. The weathers kinda gloomy. It was cold in the morning, it was raining in the evening. OK. I’m just too lazy to jog after those 2 weeks off ok? Happy now? Where was I. Hrmph. So I casually asked if I can handle it, bearing in mind that I have no exercise at all. "Yeah sure. The guide she says it's an easy course" he casually answered. So I said, "What the hell, sure. Why not." Apparently, it was hell.
So there we were at the starting point at Evercrest somewhere in Batangas. Took a tricycle (to those who are not in the know, it’s a motorcycle with a sidecar which you rent for short trips in some places here in the Philippines) and ventured to the start of the new trail to the summit.
The hike started fairly easy. I was taking shots with the camera on sceneries or even trivial things along the way. The whole purpose of me joining this hike was to practice my picture-taking (I can’t call it photography yet. It’s still too embarrassing to call it such.) ...
Posted in Confession: True Story, Taglish | Categories: Romance | Tags: funny, text, Video Call
I met Maja not too long ago. She's a very uncomplicated woman which makes it easier for me to get along with her just fine.
After few weeks of exchanging text messages I requested for a video call which she happily accommodated. She told me in advance that she'll be in the living room adjacent to the small terrace coz the breeze from outside is refreshing especially during the summer time.
We continue to Skype in a random manner based on availability. We discuss everything. In short, no unnecessary disagreements but purely exchanging of thoughts and ideas.
One warm and humid evening while on a video call, Maja's dad showed up like before to watch a teleserye.
"Nakikita ba niya ako?" That was via text message to make sure that she didn't forget to minimize the video.
"No. As usual, they didn't know that you can see us hahaha." She replied.
Her dad stood up and walked back and forth without disturbing her. After a couple of minutes her mom showed up, too.
"Wait lang ha? Matutulog na rin mga yan since almost 10PM na." She said.
"Don't worry I'll wait." I said.
So I waited for a couple more minutes. Both her parents were just standing behind her and that's where it all happened.
"Oh my God!" I said, "Your mom!!!"
Why? Because in my full view, M...
Posted in Confession: True Story, Taglish | Categories: Erotic Couplings, First Time, One Night Stand | Tags: Confession, funny, girl author, dropdeaddiva
I met Tim when a friend introduced us last year. He was 27, very good looking, and I can tell he works out because he has a nice body. I didn’t pay him much attention during the time we were introduced because I thought he was dating my friend, but I was surprised when a week later he added me up on Facebook. He chatted me up and told me he found me interesting and asked for my number. Three days later, he asked me out on a date. I wanted to say no at first because he was five years younger than I am, and I don’t generally go out with younger guys as a rule. But he was persistent, and he finally made me say yes.
The first date turned out well than expected. He insisted on holding my hand all the while we were together. He would have his arm around my shoulder or around my waist. PDAs on a first date? Too much right? But he made me feel like I was the fairest one of all. I went home that day reeling from the aftereffects of our first date and feeling like a teenager. But did I want to be in a relationship with this guy? No, I didn’t. But hey, no sane woman would say no to dating a handsome man with a great body. Not even me, and I’m not even claiming to be sane all the time.
Now the trouble with being single is that whenever the sexual need arises, there’s no one for me to turn to. Normally, I would ignore being horny. I would get myself busy with work. Or take a cold shower. But ignoring the urge can be a bad thing. It builds up slo...
Posted in Blog: English | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags: funny, dropdeaddiva, muse, writers block, inspiration
I continued to stare at the blank Microsoft document on my laptop screen. I have been staring at it for a long time now. I am stumped. I do not know what else to write or how to start or where to start.
“This is frustrating!” I almost screamed to an empty room when a sudden radiance filled my room. I squinted my eyes and noted a figure – a him.
“God?” I asked.
I noted the all-white get up and then said, “My guardian angel?”
“Are you fucking kidding me? Do I look like a guardian angel to you? Look, no feather wings!” He made a half turn so I could see that he had a no wings on his back.
I raised an eyebrow and noted the absence of a wand. “I doubt you are my fairy godmother.”
“Well, I wanted to be one, but I failed the flight test and my poof didn’t sound like a poof at all but a loud BANG! They suggested I seek other options.” He said wistfully.
"A male fairy godmother?"
"Oh don't be judgmental! It is an in-thing nowadays, you know."
“I think I had too much coffee… I’m beginning to imagine things.” I said as I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I flicked my eyes open and he’s still there.
“Still think you’re imagining me?”
“Who are you?”
“I’m your muse.”
“Yes, muse. A guiding spirit. A source of inspiration.” When...
Posted in Confession: Taglish | Categories: One Night Stand | Tags: funny, Comedy, dropdeaddiva
Wala akong maisip na title ng confession eh. Yan na lang since comedy naman ang dating ng confession ko.
There was this one time I agreed to meet with a guy sa Jollibee Kalentong. I lived in Bacood at that time and he lived in San Juan so meeting in Kalentong was perfect for us. I knew something was already off when I saw him and noted that I was about 2 inches taller than him. My height is average at 5 feet and 2 inches. So that would make him around 5 inches tall give or take. It's a good thing that I don't wear heels.
Anyway, so we walked all the way to his apartment, which was mga 2-3 blocks din from Kalentong. When we reached his place and immediately after locking the door, he immediately grabbed me and kissed me sa leeg.
"Oh my.. Ang bango mo.. Kanina pa ako tinitigasan sa pabango mo," he said.
"Wait.. Wait muna.." I said. I was actually having second thoughts at that time about sleeping with him. I just had this bad feeling that things weren't going to turn out okay. But he paid no heed and just continued kissing me, this time sa lips - sloppy kisses and wet ones. I don't like sloppy kisses. Before I knew it, he pushed me to his bed and pumaibabaw agad sya sakin, still kissing my lips, cheeks, neck, shoulders. "I am horny for you," sambit nya.
"We're still dressed. Wait lang, let me take my clothes off." Sabi ko sa kanya. "No need. Pwede na to," sagot naman nia sakin.
I was wearing a ski...
Posted in Confession: True Story, Tagalog | Categories: One Night Stand | Tags: funny, embarrassing, epic fail, sablay
I met a girl na sa text ko lang nakilala, naging kami, pero pareho kaming merong mga partners, at casually lang napagusapan na mag sex kami (isang dahilan bat hindi na ako naniniwala sa seryosong relasyon…) Syempre game ako. Sinundo ko siya tapos SOGO alabang kami.
Nung andun na kami. Hubad na. kingina! Ambaho ng pempem – as in!
Di to exagg pero lumamlam talaga yung galit na galit ko ng junior. Nasa may pusod palang ako amoy ko na yung malansa na amoy pawis na ewan ng pempem niya! Kala ko madadaan sa tubig pero hindi parin. 1st time kong hindi makakain ng pempem before sex. Kingina talaga. Pinasok ko nalang yung akin tas sa posisyon ko na lang dinaan para hindi siya makahalata.
Meron din isa, ex ko naman to. Antagal ko inalagaan tapos nung dalaga na e sa iba lang din naman pala magpapadale. So medyo revenge sex to. SOGO malate naman kami, kingina, pag hubad ayan na. BOOOM! Same scenario din!
Parang pinaghalong semen, pawis, panghi, na ewan yung amoy. Although yung kanya nadaan ko pa sa tiis. Nakain ko naman siya at nadale parin.
Dahil bothered na ako sa amoy, aaaantttaaagggaaaallll ko nilabasan, as in. wew.
Til now hindi ko parin mawari yung amoy nung mga yun. Gusto ko sana sabihan sila pareho na baka kaya hiniwalayan sila ng mga Bfs nila e dahil hindi talaga kayang tiisin yung amoy ng pempem nila.
NOTE TO MYSELF: before going to bed, make sure maamoy ang pempem, pag mabaho wag na, sayang rent...
Posted in Story: True Story, Taglish | Categories: Exhibitionist and Voyeur, Taboo, Romance | Tags: funny, Caught in the Act, experiment
Hope you enjoyed my other post. This is another true story which happened in 2009. My girlfriend at the time was Jen, she 23 at the time. She was studying in a law school. She is your typical girl, outgoing, smart, funny and loves adventure. She was staying with her widowed aunt.
On Sunday's her aunt would be out the whole afternoon as she is a Bingo regular at the casino. Their household help also has their day-off so we would have all the time to do our stuff at her aunts house.
One lazy Sunday afternoon, we planned to watch movies. Her aunt doesn't know of our relationship so I have to sneak into the house when she is away already. I was outside her waiting for her aunt's car to pass so when it does, she was at the gate waiting for me. She was wearing a shorts, and a black sphagetti strap tops. She was not wearing any bra anymore. She was teasing me all the way as she led me to the living room. At one side of the room, there is a very big mirror that the whole part of the house can be seen. We were already playing when an idea came up. I asked her if we can do it in front of the mirror and watch ourselves as we fuck our brains out. She was so excited to do it also. So we pulled the sofa and moved tables and some chairs to position the sofa that we would see the best view of ourselves. Feeling so aroused thinking of it, I was having a huge hard-on. Since I was wearing jeans, I kinda felt pain as it was being presse...