Posted in Poem: English | Categories: Erotic | Tags: love, moving on, acceptance
It was not an easy road that i took
I stumbled and fall down my knees
Gathered up the last bit of myself
Tried to forget all the hurt and pain
I put up a wall inside my chest
Trying to protect that fragile heart
Desperately wanting to forget
But the more I try, the more it hurts
And then you came into my life..
It scared me
I was scared of the feelings I felt
The thoughts i think when i am with you
I was scared of the possibilities
That might happen if i accept you
I saw the wall.. breaking down
But I started to pick up the pieces
And fixed the wall to hide
Coz I know it's for the best
No, I thought it's for the best..
But sadness filled my heart
Emptiness numbed my core
Darkness swallowed my being
And then I realized I was wrong
As I started to break down that wall
The warmth of your love
Embraced me lovingly
Making me feel content
Assuring that I am safe
That I dont have to worry about anything
The past.. Must be left behind
The future, is just ahead of us
You made me smile again
And took my fear away
And so I decided to free myself
From that fear of falling in love again....
Posted in Blog: English | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags: love, letting go, moving on, acceptance, Happy, Reminisce
This evening while I was driving back to work, this song played in my selections and it brought me back to where I was 9 months ago. The time, where I had to let go of a man I thought I would end up with ..
And the song I mentioned in the first part is entitled BREAKEVEN and is from the band, The Script ... I swear the first 6 months after that break up, I played the song LITERALLY every day.. over and over until it sank to me to forgive, forget, move on and get a life ..
But that journey?? It was one of the most painful realization I went through .. And if not for the time and compassion of my friends, support of my family - - I could say, I would still probably be caught in that moment ...
Know that everyone goes through a stage where their loved one hurts them.. A stage where your dreams, your hopes go down the drain as if they were nothing..
And if you are in this stage as I write this, know that it is a - - "stage" ..
You have to go through the pain, the denial part, the ifs, the buts, the why and how.
Take it ... Cry if you have to ... Shout if you have to .. Be bitter if you have to ...
Hate the world if you have to.
But do not stay in that stage for long ... You have to rise to the occasion .
Posted in Blog: English | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags: letting go, memories, Realization, break up, reminiscing, acceptance
***mawv 5:02am 101114
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My mobile phone kept on beeping while I was about to sleep .. When I looked at it, I saw my bestfriends several messages. One of them that stood out was a message that said, "check your FB, I sent you a message .." ..
So I did, thinking that it might be extremely important or else, she wouldn't even bother sending me messages at 4am!!
Typical reaction of a woman who would have read her bestfriend's message would have been that of elation.
But when I saw what she sent, I felt sadness and mused over the fact, that not so long ago, I too was in that situation.
My bestfriend - - knowing that I do not check my Euro ex's FB & his "present" lovelife, - -was very "obliging" enough to share what she found out from his "current" girl.
"I just want a man who will love me more than i love my self...
Honest, loyal and respect me,
And what she found out from my ex's relationship status was - - - single . . .
I wrote her back and said to her that I appreciated her gesture and her good intentions. But reminded her that when I let him go, I also let go of my emotions that came with him ... In fact, it was almost 4 years overdue ...