To The Guy Who Was Never Really Mine

May 14, 2015 (2 years ago)
Posted in Blog: Taglish | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags: ,

My mind says, it should be over it by now. But my heart says, go on...because there are still a few chapters left in the story. Maybe at the end of the story, I will find the happy ending that I've been looking for.

..... But the lasting proof of my emotion is the half of the world fears.
I fell in love with you.. Everything about you is an interesting subject. Everything is a surreal feelings: Messages that came back and forth. Messages that I love to read all over again. The feeling of "kilig". The "melting knees" feeling. And.. And everything is like a perfect reality.

UNTIL the day of strong typhoon came and washed out every details in our story.

Maybe my mind is right. There was never an "US". It's just "YOU" and "ME". And whatever you called this relationship... it should be over now. Maybe I should wake up into reality. Maybe I should know when to step on the stop pedal for this heartbreak.

I felt sad to look back on those time that I was crazy about you. Crazy about the way you told me that you loved me. Crazy about your "bolero" moves. Crazy about your voice. Crazy about all the lies and shits and "love" you gave to me. Crazy about everything.. everything about you. Crazy. I was crazy. Because I fell for your cliches, because everything sounded too good to be true.

Everything has been said and done what I had was nothing anyway. I had no claims, but I think I should blame myself or I shouldn't? I don't know. I don't know if I should get mad at you or I just need to shake it off.

I asked myself.
Why I met you at the wrong place and time? Why everything went wrong? Why we can't cross the other side of the wall? Why we can't be together?
It wasn't as if we were just friends. We acted like a couple. From our terms of endearment to our deepest darkest secret but still, it lead us to an end. A very bad end. So again, I asked myself with the word Why?

We shouldn't say Goodbye because we didn't even say Hi to something. We don't need closure or maybe I need it, but I realize we don't need it because we didn't open any other doors. I just expect and assume at the same time.
Maybe what I saw in your profile is a good sign for me to stop, to end, to get over this shit and the exact closure that I need.

I'm sorry for being a spontaneous tantrum thrower. I'm sorry because I expect. I'm sorry because I assume. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything and atleast now... I know that you will never be my "someone" that I should be proud o... Read More

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Joined: April 6, 2014 (4 years old)
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