Posted in Blog: Tagalog | Categories: Erotic | Tags: Blog
1.) When you break up with us, that means it's over, and we will only sleep with you two or three more times.
2.) You shouldn't pass up a three-way because you 'love us too much.
3.) Women grab their crotches, too. We just have the decency to do it in private.
4.) Some of us prefer boxing to yoga. None of us actually likes Pilates.
5.) When considering whether or not to ask out the girl you're afraid to talk to, keep this in mind: No matter who you are or what you look like, it's always flattering when you hit on us. Always.
6.) We go to the bathroom together because we're doing coke.
7.) We want to cuddle after sex because we're fucking freezing.
8.) Women are innately self-conscious. This is not a choice; it's a genderwide condition.
9.) Women like porn, too. We just hate it when you hide the porn.
10.) The Brazilian bikini wax is torture. To show a little appreciation, you could trim your nose hair. And your nut sack.
11.) I know we're all busy, but let's avoid scheduling sex. When we start thinking about our night like, At 5:00 P.M., he's going to put it in me... Actually, that sounds kind of sexy.
12.) We pay closer attention to your hands than you think. It's bad enough if you don't have manly hands, but if your nails are longer than ours, forget it.
13.) Breasts are not a speed bump to the promised land.
14.) The concept of premenstrual syndrome was invented by a woman in Iowa who was trying to come up with a way to call her husband shit-for-brains without repercussions. Now we all benefit.
15.) We can tell how good you'll be in bed by how good you are on the dance floor.
16.) We want dessert. We want you to order dessert. What we don't want is for you to ask us if we want dessert.
17.) If we love you, there is nothing so filthy that you can't say it in bed.
18.) How sexy you look unbathed at a campsite first thing in the morning is as important as how sexy you look in a tux. Then again, looking good in a tux can turn a nice girl into a porn star.
19.) We'd much rather try on bras than see them on surgically altered, airbrushed supermodels, but we know how much you enjoy the Victoria's Secret catalog. Consider it a gift.
20.) When we say, 'I don't like to play games,' it's because we are very experienced at playing games.
21.) When we ask which outfit we should wear, humor us with an answer — just pick one already! — but expect us to go with the one you didn't choose.
22.) "Otis Redding said it perfectly: Try a little tenderness."
23.) Even when we're blindfolded, even when you're wearing sunglasses, even in the pitch black of night, we can always tell if you just ogled another woman.
24.) We're not complimented when you call your ex a slut. She dated you, too. So what are we?
25.) Often men confuse pensiveness with bitchiness, and I find that insulting
26.) Asking for directions is a really big turn-on.
27.) We love the fact that it takes you only twelve minutes to get ready for anything, be it black tie or a basketball game. When it takes longer than that... what are you doing in there?
28.) We are all about our necks. Feel free to spend as much time there as you wish.
29.) Everything sounds better when your mouth is next to our ear and you whisper it.
30.) We're afraid of commitment, too. You may think we spend our time scheming ways to trap you into marriage, but many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous. Besides, we're not in any rush to quit lusting.
31.) You aren't the only one who thinks that two women having sex is hot. If we haven't tried it, most of us have at least imagined what it would be like to kiss a pair of shiny red lips.
32.) Women are interested in A-list things: A designers, A vacations, A orgasms.Wait, let me rephrase that so there's no confusion: multiple orgasms.
33.) Even if we've only been dating a few weeks, don't introduce us as your 'lady friend' — or that's exactly what we'll become.
34.) If you think we like the word panties, you've been watching too much porn.
35.) If you're funny, we will sleep with you.
36.) When we fall asleep before the end of the film, it's because we are happy and relaxed, not because we're bored.
37.) Men who wear sunglasses at night don't look cool, rich, or sexy. They look as if they should be holding a cane or following a dog.
38.) If we run into your ex-girlfriend in public, the first thing you should do is put your arm around us. And if we have to introduce ourselves, you are in big trouble.
39.) If you won't hold our hands in public, we won't blow you in private.
40.) Eye contact should last exactly 0.28 seconds. The quickest glance is the most effective. Treat us like the sun during a solar eclipse.
41.) We don't understand your fascination with boobs, but we're happy you have it.
42.) We never fake orgasms. Okay, once in a while we do. But only for the sake of expediency.
43.) We need you to be reachable at all times, but we don't always pick up our phones when you call. We realize this seems like a double standard; if you'd like to discuss it further, just leave a message.
44.) A serious scientific study has proven that women think 50 percent more than men, and 90 perce... Read More