Posted in Blog: English | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags: Blog
Been crying every night since the day I last texted you. It hurts a lot. And I am pretty sure you feel the same way. but more than that, it hurts when you said that I ruined your life and family. If loving you makes you feel that I ruined your life, that my life for there is no meaning for me to live. I do hurt you the moment I give up. I do hurt you the moment I lied that I am already married with some body else. I do hurt you the moment you learned the truth about you. I do hurt you when I listen to your story about what he did to you way long ago. Yes, all this I hurt you. Every second that passed by my fucking life, never did I felt that heartache left me. It has been pain and pain always since then. I know for sure this is not my first time to get hurt. Been in this situation a couple of times and yet this is the most painful one.
First on my senior year in High School. Damn it! It was painful at first but I manage to calm my self and get up head high. Second was a tragedy, I married a girl that ruin every single bit of me. It was a painful one not only because we already have child that time but because I am already locked up at fucking marriage! Damn it! I am in Mindanao fighting rebels when I found out that bastard had an affair that bears. It ruins me. I got AWOL from my service and never think of returning again. And the third one comes. I got inlove with a girl that I barely new her background and never did I know she's a poseur. To hell with those Generals and scumbags who wants me flat dead. Worst thing is that my family would have gone if I never did things I shouldn't have. Dirty things it may, but it saves lives of my sisters,brother and my child. I thought it was all over that I could have a peaceful life after. I keep myself out of my former profession's picture but never stop to be a private investigator. In this field, i could release my frustration in this miserable life. I tried to be the man I used to be. I tried every possible ways to be calm and not to worry things that bothers me and I survive. I survive the agony of the last 8 painful years of my fucking life. Never did I tell to myself that I would fall inlove again. Never did I prepare myself for this one. I thought every thing can be done overnight. I am so sorry if I ruin your life and your family ties. It has been my biggest mistakes that I let myself lied to you. And do things that would fall back on me. It was not my intention to hurt you nor take advantage of you. Knowing how delicate you are. Except for my child, you're the most precious gem that I ever had. But now you're gone. And I don't know if I could win you back. It hurts and it kills me. It kills me that I lost the most valuable lady of mylife. Saying good bye is the most hardest and harshest words I could say. It tears my heart into pieces and for the first time in my fucking life I was totally blanked. I don't know what to do! Leaving this life with out you by myside is a hell. But it was your decision and neither do I can change that. I am really really sorry. From my soul(who is crying right now), i do really apologize for the hear... Read More