Posted in Blog: English | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags: personal experience
Remember I promised you long time ago I will be writing about you..about me..about us.. I think this is the time.
How many years has it been? And yet I can clearly hear your voice and your laughter..the way you look at me… the feeling I am loved despite the odds of what reality is. I know while writing this I will be crying and will decide not to write this anymore..but deep inside me I know I will be able to finish this despite the heavy heart.
You were among the few people who genuinely believed in my talent, in what I am capable of. I can feel the sincerity every time you tell me about it and every time you criticized me I know you were doing it for my own good. And every day when I feel i need a li’l tap on my shoulder I think about you and know that you will have that smile on your face and a li’l pinch on my chubby cheeks , your way of telling me I did well. When I need a boost of confidence I think about you and remember your voice, encouraging me to push and do more. You always believed in me and sometimes I am in awe and would wonder why.
I miss you everyday even up to this writing. I miss the conversations we had. The long talks over the phone with just about everything and anything. The arguements we had. And the silly things we discussed about the realities of our different way of living. We surprised each other with li’l anecdotes and learn from it and after a few years we would tell each other our “remember when moments” and we would laugh about it.
I am sorry for the times that I blatantly refused your requests. I know I’ve hurt your feelings then but I know it was for the good of everybody. Though you just laughed at it and teased me again and again but knowing you, it was hard on your part. It was difficult for me too but I had to stand on my ground; not for us, but for the people in our lives.
You will remain very special and important person in my life. Even though you shouldn’t have been part of it because of your status, but thank you still for coming into my life. Those times we were together I will always treasure. I can always and honestly say despite of the situation I was loved by you and to this day I tell anyone who asked about a story of my life, how I was loved once by that one person who despite his status and stature I was treated equal without a doubt.
Remember what I told you? About me writing about you and us. This is the time.
I fought back for years to do this. I didn’t want to do it. I refused so many times to do it.
But last night I shared our story again. And this time, after so many years I wasn’t crying anymore. I felt no pain. I felt no regret of the decisions I made. The things you always wanted to happen. I felt at peace. I was listening to myself while telling the story. There was no pain. No heavy heart. And I know it is t... Read More