Posted in Story: Fiction, English | Categories: Erotic Couplings, Mature, Romance | Tags: Romance, ex with benefits
I realized that this story has been hanging on for so long, due to the fact that I don't know how to end this back then. Apologies for the delay.
My feet felt heavy. I could not move. It felt like my feet were glued on the ground. Her words echoed inside my head “I’m seeing somebody else. I have moved on.” Every word seems like a poison to my heart. It’s killing me.
I headed to my hotel room. Andrea’s words reverberated as I walked my way there. I know that visiting Andrea will be a big risk. All along, I thought that my main agenda was to get her back but now, I felt devastated when she told me that she is seeing somebody else.
All my hopes were shattered in an instant. I felt sorry for myself but I know that I will get her back. I will not let her go this time, for whatever’s worth. I immediately rushed to the desk where my laptop is. I turned it on and patiently waited for it to boot. Every second felt like minutes and I am getting anxious. I hurriedly logged in my email and swiftly composed a message to Andrea.
I sent her the name of the hotel together with my hotel room number and I included the “Looking forward to meet with you tomorrow.” statement. I stared at my laptop screen, hoping that Andrea would respond to my email right away. My feet dragged me to the bed and I lay down, my eyes staring into nothingness.
The wall clock says it is already 8:30 PM and even though I felt the pang of hunger, I don’t have the strength to get up. Random thoughts of Andrea came flashing through. How I met her, our first meeting, the first time I held her hand, our first kiss, her soft skin, her sexy moans, her resting bitch face, her smile, her voice—she’s driving me crazy! And then I remembered that she is no longer mine and it pained me. I am such a stupid bastard.
9:00 PM. I took a shower and decided to check my email afterwards. There is one new message from Andrea. “Noted. I will meet you at the hotel lobby at 7:30 PM tomorrow.” It says. “I love you, Andrea. I always do.” I responded back. I went to bed with a smile on my face. I will win her back, my fighting spirit says, and I closed my eyes to sleep.
Thursday, 6:00 AM. I woke up panting, my shirt drenched with sweat. I was thankful that it was just a dream. And in my dream, I was face to face with Andrea and she’s not speaking. She stared at me as I spoke words that I don’t know and I can’t hear. She did not move a muscle when I reached out to hold her hand. I felt her stare burn like wildfire. I said something and she did not bulge. I reached out to her face and when I touched it, her face started to crack and tongues of fire crawled out of her face. She laughed and then she cried and she laughed again. I was scared. I stood up and run as fast as I could away from her. It was a long winding road and everything went black. I kept running and looked back, afraid that Andrea is running after me. But she was not there.
That dream scared me. What could that possibly mean? I stood up and checked my email again only to find out that there is no new email in it. I walked straight to the shower and hurriedly dressed up and went out to grab something to eat.
Since I will be meeting Andrea in the evening, I decided to go to the famous landmarks in Singapore. This is not my main objective in coming here but because I am already here, I decided to chill a bit as I nervously thought what could happen tonight.
6:00PM. Back in the hotel room, I took a shower and decided to put on my best attire for the meeting with Andrea. I made sure it was properly ironed, collars crisp and neat. I want to look presentable on the night that I will win her back. Fighting spirit, Josh. That’s it!
At 7:00PM, I went down to the lobby to make sure that I am there when Andrea arrive. I sat down on the sofa that’s facing the main door. I felt uneasy, my heart is beating fast. I watched the people that come and go inside the hotel. I paid attention not to miss a glimpse of Andrea.
8:00PM and there’s still no Andrea. My heart, even though it’s beating very fast, started to feel weary. Andrea was always on time. When she said she will come, she surely will, and regardless the fact that I am getting annoyed, I held on to the faith that she will come.
It is 8:15PM when I saw her pushing the door open. She’s wearing a navy blue pencil cut dress that rise a few inches above her knees. I stood up and walked towards her.
“I’m sorry I am late.” She said as she smiled at me. “Shall we go to the cafe just right outside?” She continued. I nodded as I followed her. I opened the door for her and immediately as we stepped out of the hotel, I grabbed her hand and held it tightly. She pulled it away.
The waitress ushered us to the very far corner of the cafe. She passed two menus to us and left us alone.
“I am not ordering anything, but please do feel free to order for yourself.” Andrea said. After trying to persuade her in ordering just a cup of coffee or maybe a piece of pastry, she still said no, so I just ordered a cup of Caramel Macchiato and it was served to me in less than 5 minutes.
“Always the same coffee, I see.” Andrea said to break the ice. To be honest, I was so nervous-- the way I’ve always been when Andrea is around.
“What do you want to tell me?” She started.
“I am a jerk.”
“I know that already.”
“To be honest, I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Then why are we wasting our time sitting down here for nothing?”
Long silence. A very awkward silence.
“I don’t want to lose you, Andrea.”
“You already lost me, Josh.”
“That’s why I am here, to get you back.”
“It’s not that easy, Josh. It’s not that easy.”
I reached out to hold her hand, and again, she pulled it back.
“I am always insecure when I am with you. I have this fear that I am not the best for you, and I only want what’s best for you, Andrea. The first time we were together, I know that there is something bigger for you out there. Something that you will accomplish on your own. And being with me will be a hindrance to that, that’s why I decided not to show up. I am a jerk for not being in touch and that’s deliberate. But I believed that it’s the only way that I can do to make you hate me.
Andrea sighed and shook her head.
“Then I saw you again few months back, we even shared intimate moments. Even though I know this time around that no matter what I do, I cannot run away from you, I still did. Thinking the same thing again: you have been successful on your own and being with me is a burden. But I know in my heart that I love you, Andrea. I always do. I always will. I just have to accept the fact that I cannot be the alpha male for you, but you are the one for me. You are the one I want.”
I could not help it, tears came rushing down my eyes.
“I have filed an annulment a few days after we first met. It was just granted last year. I was so happy for myself, but I don’t want to be selfish to my child. Back then, I was stalking you every single day, trying to find a way and courage to speak with you. But I was a coward. I have always been afraid. And it’s hard for me because I am born like this. This is me! But I continued to love you from a distance.”
“I was so happy to see you in cafe a few months back and I visited your hotel room to tell you all about the annulment and how I wanted to restart from where we have left behind years back. But again, I can’t make myself do it.”
Andrea is staring at me with not a single expression on her face. I felt sad.
“I could be very late now, Andrea. But I want you back. I can’t let you go this time. You’re somebody irreplaceable.”
Andrea smiled and stood up. For a moment, I thought she would come and hug me, which I highly anticipated. But she took her bag and stood in front of me.
“Thanks for letting me know, Josh, albeit too late. Like I said, I am already seeing somebody else, and whatever you told me cannot make me walk away from that person. All along, I believed there was hope for both of us. I reached out to you for so many times that I have grown tired of it. I have moved on. I have accepted the fact that we can’t be together with or without your annulment in process.”
I stood up and hugged her. It was an awkward scene where the few people in the place started to look our way.
“Thanks for loving me, Josh. I loved you, too. You know I did. But there’s no ‘us’. There never was. Let us not fool ourselves thinking that there is a third chance. We failed trying to make it work twice. But it never will. We are done.” She whispered this in my ears and I hugged her even tighter.
“Let go now, Josh. Please.” She pushed me away gently and planted a soft kiss on my lips before she walked out of the cafe.
I felt my knees weaken. I wanted to run after her, but my feet wo... Read More