in memory of...

December 20, 2013 (2 years ago)
Posted in Confession: True Story, Taglish | Categories: First Time | Tags:

4 years ago,  when i got  ****** . it was something unplanned, not even thought of. kaso andun na eh, sayang naman kung ipapaalis ko. at first it was an odd feeling. 2 weeks din akong hindi nakakain ng maayos. but sempre walang choice but to adjust. things were doing fine after.

fast forward to december 2013

he just had an operation. biglaan din. sabi kasi ni doktora, we've done all that we can. there has been great improvements, kaya lang, we need to take it out if we want to pull everything in.
he was doing fine. i can choose not to do it. sabi ko nga, dun din naman pala pupunta, eh bakit hindi pa noon. but i guess we were all hoping it will be okay kahit na hindi operahan.

so after the operation, nanghina talaga ako. i felt drained. sabi ko sana everything will be worth it.
and then on my way home, i was able to reflect on things.

''everything has a perfect timing, not too early not too late''

we could have opted to have the operation done way back, but we choose not to. kasi we were hopeful. parang relationships, you just don't give up dahil yun lang yung option. you choose to see if there is a chance. but at some point, when all efforts have been exhausted, you'll know when.

''not everyone needs to know''

i didn't tell my mom about the operation. not even the doctor knew i was gonna go for it. check up day rin kasi that day, although tinanong na niya ko days before if i wanted to do it. hindi lang ako nagreply. dun na lang niya nalaman decision ko. bakit ko pa patatagalin eh ganun din naman. nalaman na lang ni mama, after na.

''you will still need to attend to things even when you are hurting''
i could have opted to take a vacation after my operation, i just chose not to. unang una, 2 days na lang din naman holiday leave ko na. saka may mga kelangan pa kong tapusin. tiniis ko lang yung sakit.
similar to those who broke up, sometimes you can't whine. wag mong idamay yung iba sa issue mo. cry in silence.

''open up to those you trust''
i was obviously quite the whole time. tinanong lang ako ng isang officemate,may problema daw ba ako, unsually quite daw kasi. mukhang sad. so i told her why. see in life,no matter how strong you are, you just would need to open up for support. so that people will know. you don't expect everyone to understand you in silence. unless mind reader.

===
''sometimes you have to choose to let go of the good, to create space for something better. you'll feel the pain, hoping it will fade soon and allow you to smile again''

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About the Author :

Joined: October 10, 2013 (3 years old)
Writings: 45

Send PM · Female · Offline

crazy on most days, with a pinch of sense every now and then
charming without trying, if i try, you know you're up for something ;)
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