Dry Sundae

May 27, 2016 (1 year ago)
Posted in Blog: Taglish | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags:

NOTE : my apologies but this blog does not contain any sexual related plot. allow me to post this,,even just this once..

Pagod na pagod na ako. I don’t have the strength to fight back all the pain that I felt anymore. I can’t pretend anymore. Sa ilang beses mong ginawa ito sa akin, nanatili akong matatag but ngayon wala na akong lakas.Ubos na. Ilang gabi na akong walang tulog ka kahihintay say o. Pero I know you won’t budge. Tapos ka na sa akin dib a? Wala ng challenge kaya nga mdali na sayo ang bumitaw, while ako am hoping against hope na sana mabigyan mo ako ng pansin.

Why does it have to be this way? I simply wanted to give myself a chance to trust a man again and yet wala rin palang saysay ang lahat. Masakit but that’s the truth. Tama pa rin yung sinabi ko na pag nakuha na ang gusto,bibitaw na. I didn’t pay attention to what i said then because I thought you were different. Because I thought you understand where I was coming from. My fears, my apprehensions, my insecurities because you were once in my shoes. I thought you will take care of me and my heart but what’s happening now.

You don’t know the pain am going through right now. Nasira lahat ang mga bagay na binuo ko sa sarili ko bago ka dumating. Pero kahit pa sabihin ko sa iyo alam ko it will not matter. Cause you don’t care about me, you never did from day one. Tatawanan mo lahat to at sasabihin mo lang emo na naman ako.

Buti pa nga ibang tao nagui- guilty ka pag may nagawa ka ng mali, pero sa akin, balewala lang, kahit pa maglupasay ako,aalis at aalis ka pa rin. And each time you do that, a part of me dies.

If people can see me while I struggle to fight back my tears, they would think how foolish of me to be in that situation. And I could only agree of how foolish i am

For the nights lately that i lay awake and recall the times that we were together, reality sets in that i was the only one who cared, who love. I am nothing in your eyes. I was just someone you fucked when no one else was available.

The pain is unbearable right now when i think about the reality. I don’t deserve all these but right now I don’t have the strength to fight back. Wala na akong lakas.

I don’t even know why i am writing this, when you can’t even read this blog, or by chance you will, you will not know it’s you and you will just shrugged off and think of it as silly. And discard it like the notes i leave for you from time to time.

Once you come running back to me again, I will accept you with open arms and when you leave like you always do..I will not be able to pick up the pieces of myself anymore.
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About the Author :

Joined: May 23, 2016 (2 years old)
Writings: 1

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“I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn't try to sleep with someone even if they could have. I need to know these people exist.”
― Stephen Chbosky
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