Filipiniana

Joined: January 8, 2016 (2 years old)
Writings: 12

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I don't think all writers are sad. I think it's the other way around --- all sad people write.
Signature Text:
Mahirap maghanap ng taong pangmatagalan sa sitwasyong pangmabilisan.
Writings submitted by the author (12)
1 of 2

Untitled

Submitted by on May 13, 2018 (11 days ago)
Posted in Poem: Tagalog | Categories: Erotic | Tags:

Yung kailangan mong...
Lumunok ng maraming beses para 'di ka maiyak,
Tumingala para wala ng tumulong mga luha,
Humugot ng malalim na hininga para sa konting ginhawa,
At ngumiti na parang walang sakit na nadarama.

Ito yung pakiramdam na...
Pagmulat mo palang sa umaga ang bigat na,
Wala ka pang inuumpisahan pero napapagod ka na,
Hindi ka pa man din nagsasalita pero masama ka na,
Yung tipong humihinga ka nalang para sa wala.

Sabi nila...
Sabi nila sandali lang 'to.
Malalagpasan at makakalimutan din paglipas ng panahon.
Mapapalitan ng bago at mas magagandang alaala,
Maiibsan daw ang sakit sa pagdating ng bagong ligaya.

Hindi na ako malungkot, pero hindi rin masaya.
Hindi na ako umiiyak kahit palagi kitang naaalala,
Ngumingiti nalang ako kahit mukha akong tanga,
Ganoon yata talaga 'pag nagsawa ka ng umasa.

**
Wala akong maisip na title. Kayo nalang po ang magbigay. :)...

IDK

Submitted by on April 24, 2018 (1 month ago)
Posted in Blog: Tagalog | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags:

Naalala na naman kita. Tangina.

Iang linggo ba? Buwan? O 'wag mo sabihing taon ang aabutin na ganito ako? Grabe naman!

Ano? Araw araw nalang?

Araw araw nalang ako gigising na mabigat na agad yung loob ko?
Araw araw ko nalang uumpisahan yung araw ko na pilit yung mga ngiti ko?
Araw araw nalang na ang sikip sikip ng dibdib ko?
Araw araw ba talaga? Hindi ba pwedeng every other day?!

Ano?! Sagutin mo naman! Ayoko na sa'yo e!
Ayoko na. Ayoko na nito.
Ang sakit sakit kaya.

Ayaw ko na umiyak...

Ayaw na kita maalala. Ni amoy mo sa damit ng katabi ko sa jeep, ayoko malanghap. Nasasaktan ako kahit fabcon lang yon. Pucha.
Ayaw na kita mamiss. Nagtatrabaho ako ng maayos, tapos makikita ko mannerisms mo dun sa ka-officemate ko.
Literal, nabadtrip ako. Saya e. Ang saya, sobra.

Di ko na mabilang kung ilang buntung hininga na nagawa ko habang tinatype ko 'to.
Nakakatawa na ako yung #1 listener ng mga katrabaho o kaibigan ko sa mga lovelife nila, pero pag sa akin di ko ma-open sa kanila.
Naalala ko kasi palaging, walang tayo. Wala.

Napapagod na ko agad sa sarili ko.
Bakit kasi ginawa kitang source of happiness ko.
Bakit kasi tinotoo ko yung mga bagay na dapat biruan lang.
Bakit kasi ang landi mo!
At bakit naman kasi ang rupok ko! Naku naman!

Langya. Napagdaanan...

Virgin or Not

Submitted by on April 22, 2018 (1 month ago)
Posted in Blog: English | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags:

I was triggered when I've read something in here and all the sarcasm and rudeness went thru my ears up to my head. Hahaha!

So just in case you haven't read this yet, let me share this to you with all the emphasis in every word. Let me repeat. In. Every. Word.

"Listen. Listen. Listen. If you are a virgin and waiting for marriage, that's wonderful and I celebrate and honor you for that. HOWEVER, that doesn't give you the right to turn your nose up to those of US who are not and are waiting for marriage. Purity is MORE THAN your legs being closed. It's a reflection of WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART. Turning your nose up like you are better than someone who did fall into pre-marital sex shows a self-righteous heart. Your Virginity is only as good as your heart towards others.

YOU CAN'T BE VIRTUOUS AND VICIOUS AT THE SAME TIME."...

Naughty At Times

Submitted by on April 22, 2018 (1 month ago)
Posted in Confession: True Story, Tagalog | Categories: First Time | Tags: , ,

Just wanna share my random and brave naughty moments...
**
Nagwork ako dati sa Manila, somewhere near NIA. Its just an ordinary day, and I'm just wearing gray pants, black polo shirt and a doll shoes. Pauwi na ako noon and I was really grateful na nakaupo pa ako sa bus, usually kasi tayuan na. Di ko na matandaan kung nasaan na kami noon nung may sumakay na guy. He was tall, white, and with beard... and yes, cute. Ang lakas ng appeal nya, kahit pagod ako nabuhay ang katawang lupa ko. And to my surprise, sa gilid ko sya tumayo. Omg.

So dahil maharot ako, I keep on looking into his "bulge". Pasimple lang naman pero bakit kasi ang lapit nya! Nakakatukso. Siguro napansin na nya kaya tumigil na ako. Pumasok na kami sa nlex, pumikit na ko... pero shit. Yung likod ng kamay nya... Kinikiskis nya sa braso ko! Gumaganti ba sya? Kung alam nya lang kung gaano nakakakiliti yung ginagawa nya para sa akin. Haha! Totoo nga siguro na maganda at minsan nakakaattract para sa mga lalaki yung pagiging balbon ng babae. Hmmm.

Nauna akong bumaba sa kanya. Binalikan ko sya ng tingin at nginitian sya. Samantalang sya, gulat na gulat. Till next trip! Hahaha
**

Sa sobrang curiosity ko kung anong pakiramdam ng sex, I gave it to someone I love but who can't be mine. We're over naman na, I'm quite fine. Years later, I knew someone and planned to go to Tagaytay. Never akong pinayagan sa kahit anong klaseng overnight, so this time I used the name of my bestfrien...

Letter of Goodbye

Submitted by on April 21, 2018 (1 month ago)
Posted in Poem: English | Categories: Erotic | Tags:

"To the man who made the biggest plot twist of my 2018, thank you. You have put so much thrill and excitement into it.

To the man who has taught me a lot of wonderful things in life in a short time, you might not be aware of it but I learned so much from you. Thank you. :)

To the most honest man I have ever known, I admire the veracity in every words you say. I know it comes from the sincerest emotions within you.

To the man with whom I have spent I-don't-know-how-many-firsts, nothing beats that! No one can. Thank you, they were all memorable. ‚̧

And to you and only you, thank you so much. Only God knows how grateful I am that He made our paths crossed and let me know you. You saved me, seriously. (Please don't ask me how.)

At this moment, this chapter of my life with you is the most colorful and would be the only reason why I'd love to flip back the pages of my book up to my favorite part and read it all over again.

P.S. Another first again. ūüėČ"

***
I'm trying to attach the photo of the actual letter I gave to him but it exceeded the maximum allowed size. Btw, that was old school but idc.

P.S. Shinare ko lang, naalala ko kasi yung tuwa ko nung kinompose ko yan at nung binigay ko sa kanya. Haha! Pero wala na sya. Lumayas na din....

Walang Tayo

Submitted by on March 29, 2018 (1 month ago)
Posted in Poem: Tagalog | Categories: Erotic | Tags:

Sabi ko hindi na ako susubok pero dumating ka,
Hindi kita pinansin pero lumapit ka pa.
Ni hindi kita tinapunan ng tingin pero nagpumilit ka,
Kung alam ko lang mapapasarap ang kwentuhan natin,
Nilayuan na sana agad kita. 

Akala ko saglit lang ang isa, dalawa, tatlong oras.
Akala ko sapat na ang ilang gabing katext lang kita.
Binalot na muli ng matatamis na salita ang katauhan ko,
Narinig ko ring tumawa ulit ng ganito ang puso ko. 

Saglit na panahon lang nasanay na ako sayo.
Umaga, tanghali, gabi, magkausap tayo.
May trabaho tayo pareho pero may oras tayo pero dito,
Para kang droga, naaadik na yata ako sayo.

Nagkita tayo. Namasyal. Kumain sa labas.
Ang galing, unang beses palang pero parang
ang tagal na nating magkakilala. Astig!
Ayan tuloy, natutuwa na ako sayo. Masama na ito.

Hindi tayo pero parang tayo. Ang gulo.
Ibinigay ko sayo lahat dahil nagtiwala ako.
Walang "mahal kita" o "gusto kita"
Pero pucha. Sana tayo nalang, sana may label nalang.

Unti unti, nilalamon ka na ng trabaho mo.
Ako naman si gaga naghahanap sayo.
Pero dahil pabebe ako, di kita kukulitin,
Kahit sa totoo lang gusto ko ng makita ka ulit.

Tama. Wala ngang tayo.
Narinig ko rin sayong hindi "ito" yung priority mo.
Ito? Hindi ba dapat "Tayo"?
May mas gagago pa ba sayo?

Di ako kumibo. Di nalang ako sasagot.
Baka pagod ka...

Byaheng Masarap

Submitted by on March 28, 2018 (1 month ago)
Posted in Confession: True Story, Tagalog | Categories: Erotic Couplings, First Time | Tags:

Gusto ko lang i-share yung medyo nakakalokang moments ko every single day sa jeep o kahit saan basta may pagkakataon na mag-isa ako o hindi gaanong busy sa opisina.

Bente dos palang ako, mahigit isang taon na ang nakakalipas nung ganap na naranasan ko ang maglaro ng apoy. Totoo palang nakakapaso nga. Nakakaadik. Nakakapanghina. Nakaka... Hmm..

Ang tagal ko din natigil. Mahirap maglaro ng walang "kalaro." Hanggang sa may dumating, nabuhay na muli ang nalungkot na bulaklak.

Isa. Dalawa. Tatlo. Apat.
Oh, hindi lalaki yang binilang ko ha. Kayo nalang bahala mag-isip kung ano.
Basta ang sarap.
(Pero mas masarap kung may label.)

Eto na nga.

Dahil palaging hindi bababa sa isang oras ang byahe ko hanggang opisina, palaging naglalakbay ang isip ko at isa lang ang punta nito. Bumabalik LAHAT ng mga ginawa ko, namin, sa isipan ko. Oo, lahat.

Ang harot ko. Di man halata pero ang likot palagi ng imagination ko kahit mukhang serious mode at petiks ang upo ko sa jeep. Di nila alam kapag napapabuntong hininga ako hindi problema ang iniisip ko, kundi ang pakiramdam na ang hirap kontrolin sa tuwing dumadako ako sa mga alaalang kay sarap balik-balikan.

Yung dila. Yung hagod. Yung malagkit na tingin. Yung hablot sa bewang. Yung tunog. Yung diin. Yung bilis. Yung lalim. Yung ngawit. Yung pawis. Yung sarap.

Pero madalas, kapag natatauhan na ako at malapit na akong bumaba, natatawa nalan...

21 Days

Submitted by on March 27, 2018 (1 month ago)
Posted in Blog: Tagalog | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags:

A trivia on Facebook caught my attention. It says,

"No matter how strong or deep your love is, our brain takes only 21 days to forget Love and create New feelings. Even if you think you will die with pain after loosing ANY TYPE of Love but after 21 days, you will get used to new people new routine. NO LOVE IS PERMANENT."

I don't know if it has already proven or has a scientific explanation or a common bluff trying to convince others that it's true. Anyway, just after I read that, I smirked. I know that's impossible, how can we unlove someone who became part of our lives and means a lot to us? How can we forget someone who taught us how to love and trust, again? In just 21 days? I am sure this is just one of the creations of some people out there who tries to express their bitterness or what to the world.

But I'm wrong.

In less than a month, I forgot how I loved you.
Or maybe the attachment or the idea of being in love with you.

I guess it works because in fear of being left and hurt again, I always talk to God. Every day, every night, every moment that I think my feelings are taking me somewhere deep, I always ask His guidance -- that if this man is not yet the one for me, or will bring no good to me, please take him away from me. But if finally, he's the one I meant to be with, please guide us until the end.

And I realized, God really has a plan for all of us. Because whenever I pray, every time...

Tapos Na

Submitted by on March 24, 2018 (2 months ago)
Posted in Blog: Tagalog | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags:

Tapos na.

Nandito na talaga tayo sa dulo.

Dito sa hangganan na noon hindi ko naman natatanaw, pero ngayon dito tayo parehas napadpad. Masakit, oo. Nakakapanghinayang. Pero may mga bagay talaga na hindi na natin kayang ipilit at ayusin kapag ayaw na talaga.

Parang tayo, sinubukan naman nating ayusin di ba?

Mahal pa rin naman natin ang isa't isa... pero hindi na gaya noon.

Ang saya natin. Bakit biglang nasira? Bakit biglang nagkulang? Nasobrahan ba ako? O hindi ka lang nakuntento? Sagutin mo naman. Maghihintay ako.

Yung mga tawa at kulitan natin, napalitan ng away at sigawan. Yung halakhak, napalitan ng iyak. Hindi ko alam kung paano tayo maaayos kasi hindi ko naman alam kung saan nagkaproblema. Sabi mo ikaw ang may diperensya, sayo may problema, kaya sa huli ang sabi mo, palayain na kita..

Siguro nga hindi ka na masaya sa sakin. Pasensya ka na mahal ko kung hindi naging sapat yung Ako para Sa'yo.

Hindi ko alam kung ilang buwan o taon ang kailangang lumipas para makalimutan kita kasama lahat ng sakit na nandito pa rin sa dibdib ko hanggang ngayon. Pero alam ko, magiging masaya ulit tayo. Hindi man sa piling ng isa't isa, pero sa piling ng iba.

Sa ngayon, paniniwalain ko muna yung sarili kong hindi kita namimiss, hindi kita naaalala, at hindi na ako nasasaktan sa tuwing naiisip kita hanggang sa maging totoo na lahat ng pagpapanggap ko. :...

Second Time

Submitted by on March 21, 2018 (2 months ago)
Posted in Blog: English | Categories: Non-Erotic | Tags: , , ,

It was a year ago when I bravely gave myself to someone I only talked with for a short time. 

Two weeks?

And in two months, we only meet for a few times. Then, I let him go. Felt like, we just fucked each other. Yeah, I know.

However, I don't want to regret any second that I'm with you. I treasured all the memories and the emotions I felt because I know how genuine it was because I loved you. I hope you really loved me too, at least.

But I can not stay with you if you're already committed to someone else.
That's why I let you go even if I know you'll take with you a big part of me or it was you who will leave a deep scar in my being.

I think it was the latter. I was devastated. I missed you, or its only my memories of us deceiving me?
I miss myself.

I thought I will not enter another kind of relationshit again -- a relationship without label. I thought what we had will be the last lesson and the last kind of pain from dumbness I would allow. I thought I will not let my body be used out of lust. 

I promised I will never be stupid again. I promised not to be attached with words and shitty sugarcoated actions of a jerk but then again, I failed.

What's with the "commitment" that most people fear about? Hopeless.

I don't know what to feel anymore. Didn't imagine that I will reach this point of questioni...

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